Intervention
by Mapel
Summary: Post manga. Shampoo appears to have given up on snagging her beloved Airen, but will Cologne?
1. Chapter 1: A talk with Cologne

Disclaimer: Ain't mine. Don't give me money (If you feel that you absolutely have to, I promise I will keep quiet!).

Author's note: Shampoo is Clearly the Best Choice for Ranma.

Cue mallet/flames.

Began this fic almost a year ago, lost computer access for a few weeks, lost interest. Interest is now renewed, hopefully enough so as to not leave the readers hanging this time.

Now then. If you clicked on this story you know that eventually we'll see a Ranma/Shampoo pairing. That's gonna take a bit of work, however, because my massive ego demands that I take up the story after the end of the manga, rather than the anime. And that means a certain other girl has got a bit of a head start.

Fear not, though the road may be dark and dreary, the Heroine will prevail.

We pick up about a month after the failed wedding.

zzzzzzzzzzz

The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High was strategically retaining a covert position behind a corner in the corridor.

Today would be the day. Today the Evil Sorcerer would be brought down.  
He had begun to lose hope, these last few months. The Fair Maiden Akane had continued to resist Ranma's wicked charms, but how long could she keep it up? It was tragically evident that she was slipping further under the control of the vile sorcerer for every month that went by.  
But no more. He had finally mustered the courage to ask Nabiki for her most expensive secret.  
The key to defeat Ranma was literally in his hands.  
It was so obvious. It had been right in front of him all this time. Right there in his father's collection of old American movies.  
Still… the price for this weapon had been horrendously high…  
He shuddered. But no more! From this day on, Saotome would be drenched in cold water Every Single Time he came to school until his evil spells were broken.

Kuno allowed himself to think of the Pig tailed girl's gratitude when finally the vile cur had been banished from Nerima... One of his men coughed. Kuno focused again. Ah, there he was. Saotome was coming closer. Laughing, speaking with his classmates.  
Like they dared not pretend to laugh at his jokes!  
"Saotome!"  
Someone sighed behind him, but he paid them no heed. He leaped out before the Enemy of Women and held up his hand.  
"What's that?" the sorcerer asked. He was terrified at the visage of the Blue Thunder; the Avenging Angel of Furinkan High.  
The Avenging Angel threw the water balloon.  
The evil magician cast a spell to remove himself from the water's course, and it hit an innocent. The criminal!  
"Now!" he shouted. Black clad mercenaries jumped out from every door and window in the corridor, surrounding the madman, water balloons and water pistols at the ready.  
"Surrender and we will spare your life!" he demanded.  
"My… what?"  
"I know now what you are! Do not deny it, water will melt you where you stand!"  
"Melt me where I… where did you get this?"  
He jeered. "I have my ways. Fire! No, wait, Water!"  
The captain of the mercenaries sighed again, as his men attacked.  
Ranma took flight, grabbing hold of the ceiling. Then he screamed a few weak insults, but if he was so far reduced from fear alone, Kuno was ready to finish him off!  
The vile sorcerer threw himself out the window, Kuno fast on his heels.  
They landed not too far from the school gate, and Kuno half expected him to run with his tail between his legs. But the cad knew he had lost, and had apparently decided to make a last stand against the forces of justice.  
The fool!  
Kuno blinked. There was an old woman standing on the wall behind Ranma.  
He blinked again. It was that shrivelled up old monkey, Colonge.  
Ah, yes.  
"It is over, Saotome," he jeered. "Even the foreigners have mustered their courage to come finish you off in your moment of weakness! Just as the city states of Greece gathered at Thermopoly to cast out the Persians once and for all, so has China come to the aid of Japan in this final battle to end your evil reign!"  
Ranma blinked, looked behind him, and turned back to him.  
It was Kuno's turn to wonder. The mummy had gone.  
Then she reappeared, just behind Ranma.  
She knocked him over the head, took hold of him, and leaped back over the wall.  
Kuno stood silent for a few moments, considering this.  
Then he smiled.  
Smile turned into laughter.  
He threw his arms out, and laughed and laughed and laughed in triumph. And then he started off toward his father's office, to declare his victory over the intercom.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When Ranma woke up, pain made him keep his eyes closed. With his other senses, however, he noticed several things. And they did not form a pleasant picture.  
He had a lump on his head, from the feel of it. He would have checked, but his arms were shackled. With metal. The rest of his body was shackled, too. In fact he seemed to be hanging in the air. He couldn't even turn his head. He would have tried to feel for the ground with his feet, but he doubted it would do much good, and it would probably reveal to his captor that he had woken up.  
Who could the captor be, though?

"You are awake, Ranma."  
The voice belonged to Cologne.  
He opened his eyes.  
They were in a basement of some sort. Lit by torchlight.

He frowned. "This under the Cat Café?"  
She inclined her head.

"How long was I out?" he asked. It was probably not a good time to try to intimidate the old crone.

"I don't know, what day is it?"  
He blinked.

She chuckled a little. "An hour, perhaps. Depending on how you do, it may take a little longer before I let you go, however."

He growled. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

"Hell of a way to start off."

"I wanted to be sure I had your undivided attention."

"I'd say you have managed that much."

"I don't want you to leave until I am certain you understand the point I am trying to get across."

"That I should marry Shampoo? How the hell is kidnapping me supposed to help with that?"

The matriarch of the Amazons shrugged. "I do not expect you to change your mind in just one sitting."

"Or in a hundred."

"Shampoo thought you might react this way."

"Yeah? Where is she? I would have thought she'd love to see me like this."  
He put his all into a glare, which failed utterly to evoke any response from the old woman.

"That would be one of the misunderstandings I wanted to clear up."

He blinked. "Yeah?"

"But we can save that for another day."

He snorted. "Gonna knock me over the head next time you feel like having a chat?"

"Probably." She sounded unconcerned.

"Only probably?"

"It's possible I have underestimated you. You may come back on your own accord."

"Like hell I will!"

The elder sighed. "No, I think you are right. That will probably be a few weeks down the line.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That we have many things to talk about, and only one or two of them will happen today."

"You gonna let me go after that?"

"Certainly."

"Then get to it."  
Silence stretched.  
There was a metallic clunk behind him, but he couldn't turn his neck enough to see the source of the sound.

Cologne started again. "I heard you saved Akane's life, Ranma."  
That started up parts of his brain he had come to associate with seemingly innocent offers from Nabiki.

"Yeees?"

"Very romantic, I gather."

"I- that- I-"

"Hm."

"Well I couldn't not save her!"

"Of course not. Especially not when she was only put in danger because of her relationship with you."

"I… would have saved her anyway."

"Naturally."

"So what are you getting at?"

"You have been home for close to a month now. How are things between you?"  
He glared again.

"I have all day, Ranma."

"Well, I've had about enough of talking with you for today."

"Thus the chains."  
Well… that wasn't exactly fair, but at least it was clear.

"You promise you will let me go after this conversation?"

"Yes. When _I_ say it is done."

"Then get to the point!"

"Do you want to marry Akane?"  
Cheeks red, check. Stutter, check. Half expecting Akane to appear out of nowhere and mallet him at any moment, check.  
The metallic, rattling sound returned.

Sudden suspicion. "Is Akane here?"

"I give you my word of honour she is not here."  
Phew.

"Now answer, Ranma."

"About what?"

"Do you wish to marry Akane Tendo?" her voice was smooth as a razor covered in honey.  
He took a deep breath.  
Well… he did. He liked her a lot. And as hard it was to admit, even to himself, he thought he actually did love her. Certainly he had been sure of it when he feared she had died.  
There were a heck of a lot to work out, but since the showdown at Jusendo things had been a lot better between the two.  
Ok, well, up until the wedding, but it wasn't exactly strange if things had been a little frosty after that.  
The image of Akane in her wedding dress flittered to the front of his mind.  
Ba-thump.

"I see," Cologne said.

He blinked. "Huh?"

"I can read auras, you know."  
He blushed furiously.

"Now I want you to think for a moment."

"Yeah?"

"What's bad about Akane?"  
He remained silent.

"The quicker you answer my questions, the quicker I will let you leave."

He took a deep breath again. "She's a tomboy. She isn't the least bit feminine and she gets jealous and violent for no reason."

"I see. And what are her good points?"  
He gnashed his teeth.

"Save us time, Ranma."  
He wasn't sure why, but it disturbed him that Cologne had stopped calling him son-in-law.

"She can be cute sometimes," he mumbled.

"Is that all?"

He frowned. "What am I supposed to say?" he demanded.

"She's kind to animals. And she likes to think the best of people."

"Yeah?"

"The women in your life and yourself excluded, of course," she said, making a dismissive gesture.

He thought that one over. "Like who?"

"Your friend Ryoga, for one."

Stab of dark emotions. "She's an idiot," he said.  
Cologne raised an eyebrow.

"Well _I_ can't help it! I've been giving her clues every day for a year!"

"So you found another thing about her you are dissatisfied with."

He closed his mouth. Then he growled. "You're not gonna be able to trick me into going to China, you know."

"Not today," Cologne agreed. "But let us see what your future would be like if you should choose to be with Akane."

He steeled himself. It wasn't like the old monkey was giving him any choice.  
"Your future, Ranma. You are seventeen now. What would you like to do with your life?"

"Train. Become better. Become the best."

"Admirable goals."

"Hmph."

"Your potential not withstanding, Ranma, that would take a lot of time."

"Yeah?"

"When are you going to learn everything you need to learn?"

"Training trips."

"Many of them?"

"All around Asia."

"Want to go to Europe, as well? Africa?"

"I… eventually, I guess. Don't know when that'll be, but at some point."

"And this is important to you?"

"Of course!" He glared at her. "Martial arts is my life!"

"Very good, Ranma."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Well, have you ever thought about settling down?"

"I've been living in Nerima for a whole year."

"Yes?"

"Well I… okay, so that's not been very close to what "settling down" is supposed to mean."

"So you want to do that now? You want your life to calm down? Go to college?"

He laughed. "You- Are you kidding me? Me? Go to college?"

"I'm sure you could scrape the grades if you tried."

"But I don't want to!"

"No?"

"I told you! Geesh, you never listen! I'm gonna train till I can kick the old creep's butt, and then I'm gonna train till I can kick your butt, and then I'm just gonna keep on going till I'm the best!"

"That's a little arrogant, Ranma."

He snorted. "It ain't gonna be easy, but I can do it."

"Perhaps."

"Ain't no but about it."

"Sounds like you are really going to keep focusing on martial arts, then."

"Of course!"

"And… what about Akane?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Where does she fit in?"

He glared at the monkey. "None of your damn business."

"Shackles. You believe she would want to go with you on your long trips?"  
He prepared to spit back a quick reply, but found no words to that.

"Or perhaps she would rather stay behind, and apply herself to rigorous training in the dojo."  
He scowled.

"Were you aware Akane intends to go to college?"  
Anything goes conversational technique number 4: Refuse to Answer.

"She has not being putting a lot of effort into the art lately, has she?"

"Will you cut off with the rhetororical questions?" he snapped.

She gave him a dry look. "They are not rhetorical. These are important matters, if you want to spend your future with the Tendo girl."

"Well it's not like I would have it any better chained down in your village!"

"Chained down?"

"I'm not gonna allow myself to get dragged back to China and be Shampoo's slave for the rest of my life!"

"Dear boy… as much as that isn't what I wanted to talk about today, that's just silly."

"Yeah?"

"It would have thought that much was obvious. But back to Akane.

"Why?"

"Because as reasonable as everything I have to say is, you will not be able to take it all in today."

"Tch!"

"Well, never mind. Today's discussion is drawing to a close."

"It… is?"

"Almost."

"Yeah?"

"I have one more question for you to ponder."

"Yeah?"

"Why do you think I am doing this?"

"What? You wanna drag me back to China, obviously."

"Why am I doing this _as opposed to just dragging you back to China_?"

"The heck should I know?"

"Indeed." And with that, Cologne blurred, and everything went black.

zzzzzzzzzzz

This is what chapter one looks like after a bit of re-editing. The ffnet machinery has managed to kill the formatting of my chapters, so I'll have to go through them all again to correct various problems. This will be done reasonably soon.

Remember to review after you've read the last available chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: The reviews have pleased my ego. Now, as for Ranma being too powerful to be held back by mere chains… not really. He got knocked out in a surprise attack and woke up hanging in midair, shackled to the point where he couldn't even turn his head.

Sympathies for the sentiment aside, there will be no unmanly girl-on-girl sex.

---

When he woke up he was back at Furinkan. The sun had not yet begun to set, but the school day had clearly come to an end.  
Now why had the old bat returned him here? The cat café was about as close to the school as to the Tendo household, but they lay in completely different directions.

He stretched a little, to alleviate the faint but still uncomfortable pain from having spent half the day tied up in the basement of the cat café. Wait a second. If he had only been knocked out for an hour the first time, how come it was this late in the afternoon?  
He felt for the lumps on his head. There were three of them. The heck!?  
Fine. Whatever. He didn't know what the shrivelled up warrior monkey was hoping to accomplish, but she'd let him go, at least.  
He set off over the rooftops, heading home. What _was_ she hoping to accomplish? Yeah, he'd wondered sometimes why she hadn't just knocked him over the head at some point and carried him off to a life in Joketsuzoku. He wasn't complaining, but that sure seemed like the logical thing to do, considering what would await him if he ever gave in.  
Anyway, he'd have to demand an explanation from Shampoo the next time she came soaring from above on her vehicle of pain during one of her deliveries. Come to think of it, though, it had been a while since she did that. He hadn't seen any of the amazons in weeks; not even Mousse. He frowned. And sighed. Okay, so this was what they had planned, whatever it was. And it somehow included knocking him over the head once in a while and letting Cologne have a chat with him.  
He gritted his teeth.

---

When he came back to the Tendo dojo, he was greeted, for once, by a perfectly peaceful atmosphere. All was quiet, in fact. He didn't even hear the TV. He paused, and mulled that over. No one in the dojo, either… no sounds at all. Right. He slowly backed out of the hallway, and went around the house, peering in through the windows as he went. Seeing nothing obviously suspicious, but not very relieved just yet, he entered very carefully through the window to what had been his and pop's bedroom until mom's house had been razed. (His parents now had that room, and he now found himself assigned to what looked like a hastily cleared out and rather shabby storage room, no doubt to encourage him to seek shelter elsewhere.) He snuck in, quietly as he could, and opened the door. No one in the living room. No one on the stairs. He peered into the kitchen, and saw a small note in Kasumi's elegant handwriting.

Dear Ranma/Akane,

Soun and Genma are out drinking. Nabiki and Nodoka are out as well. I have gone to do some shopping, but if you are hungry there are some leftovers in the fridge.

He breathed a sigh of relief. No traps, today.

Just as he opened the fridge he heard the front door open. "I can't find him, Kasumi!" Survival instincts kicked in, and he consumed all the leftovers he could find in the brief time it took Akane to take off her shoes and come into the kitchen.  
"You're a pig," she said.  
He looked down on his clothes. Okay, so he had had to substitute accuracy for speed. "At least I'm full."  
"And what am I supposed to eat?"  
"Why don't you just cook something?"  
The tension rose, but, remembering his 'chat' with Cologne, Ranma decided that Akane wasn't the enemy right now. "Sorry," he hurried.  
The effect wasn't quite what he had expected. "Sorry for what?" she asked, with an eerie resemblance to the honey coating in Cologne's voice earlier.  
"Um… for…" he tried to think quickly. "For eating the food!" he came up with.  
"More like playing with it," Akane grumbled, but the worst of the danger appeared to have passed. Then she met his eyes, and she was glaring again. "So what have you been up to all day?"  
"Nothing," he lied.  
"Yeah?"  
"Nothing much."  
"Nothing much to do with _Shampoo_?"  
He hesitated for the briefest moment. "I ain't seen her today."  
"You sure about that?"  
He did wonder how she could come so close on the first guess, but there was no time to consider that now.  
"'Course I am."  
"That's strange, then."  
"…yeah?"  
"I said that's _strange_, because _Kuno_ told the whole _school_ over the intercom that you left the school with Cologne!"  
Warning signs were beginning to flash in the back of his mind. "Well I didn't see Shampoo!"  
Battle aura…. Check. Oh dear.  
"Look, she just wanted to talk! She knocked me out with a surprise attack and carried me to the cat café!"  
"Ranma…" Akane whispered. "Just… how… stupid… do you think I am?"  
As casually as he could, he picked up an onion ring that had attached itself to his clothes, and put it into his mouth. He sighed, savouring the taste for a moment. Then the pain came.

---

A few not strictly necessary but quite pleasant helpings of okonomiyaki later, Ranma returned to the Tendo household to find all the females returned home for the evening. He was very happy that he got to live with his mother now; that he was able to talk to her every day. But it was difficult not to notice that she was still carrying that katana around everywhere. Now, unlike the fathers she did not seem all that upset about the wedding, and as she had made clear on more than one occasion that was mostly because it had been crashed by beautiful young women who wanted a piece of the cake. So to speak. Her mood had actually been very pleasant the first few weeks after that, but as both Shampoo and Ukyo had completely stopped surprise attacking her son after the incident her cheerfulness had gradually worn off, and when she had at last been forced to concede that Kodachi might not make a good mistress (courtesy of some unusually potent poison which had left half the household paralysed for the better part of the day) she had become downright grumpy. She was in a better mood than usual tonight, but she still spent most of the dinner asking Ranma if the new sleeping arrangements didn't bother him, and pointing out just how much larger all the other bedrooms were, and if-only-there-was-somewhere-else-he-could-sleep.  
It became too much. "Look, mom, I'm not sneaking in to sleep with Akane, okay? I know you guys bought her a new bed twice as large as her old one, but there's no way I'm doing that."  
Nodoka dropped the pleasantries. "It's not right for a virile young man to sleep alone."  
Akane put down her chopsticks. "Can we _please_ not talk about this now?"  
Nodoka considered her prospective daughter-in-law. "Don't think I haven't noticed you never sneek into his room, either."  
"Like I would ever-!"  
"Like I'd let her in!" Ranma cut off.  
"And just what's that supposed to mean?" Akane demanded.  
Supressing the first three replies that came to mind, he said "Er… futon's… too small?"  
"Pervert!" she bellowed.  
"Now, now," his mother chided. "Please be quiet, both of you. Ranma is quite right; his temporary accommodation is far too cramped for him to receive any lovers in there."  
Ranma blushed furiously, refusing to meet the eyes of either of the two women.  
Nodoka continued. "I would have hoped he was manly enough to sneak into your room, Akane, and I can hardly blame you for not visiting his room. But our house will soon be repaired, and then you will be free to come to him without shame."  
Both seventeen year olds stuttered in protest, but Nodoka pressed on. "But I should warn you, Akane. All the other fiancées know where our house is," the briefest of frown flickered across her face, "and they have showed themselves to be a lot more forward than you."  
"No they haven't!" Ranma exclaimed. "Not lately! The only one who's tried anything the last month is Kodachi!"  
Nodoka sighed. "Yes… never the less. I am hoping they will return with vigour when you are back in your own room with a window."  
"But… he's lying," Akane said. "He met Shampoo today!"  
"Did he?" Nodoka lit up in pleasant surprise.  
"No I didn't!" Ranma protested. "I only saw the mummy, and we only talked!"  
His mother slumped a little. "Well, what did you talk about? Did she say why her great-granddaughter hasn't stopped by for over a month?"  
"Um… well, no…"  
"What was it, then?" Akane demanded.  
"Er…" His eyes flicked over to Nodoka, then back to Akane. "That… wouldn't interest you."  
Attention redoubled.  
His mother inclined her head.  
"Look, she just… um…" When the Abrupt Silence technique would not avail him, he turned to the Technically-True gambit: "Um, she wanted to know if I have any training trips lined up, that kind of stuff."  
Nodoka sighed, and looked a little relieved. "I see. Well, that explains things."  
"It does?"  
"Yes, yes…" Nodoka got a dreamy glaze in her eyes. "She has obviously been pushing Shampoo to train hard, the poor thing, so she could master a few new techniques."  
"…right?" he asked.  
"And now she wants you to go on a trip with her great-granddaughter. It's very clever."  
"Er…"  
"Well, it's not very subtle, but I suppose if you come back within a week or two it should be okay."  
"Now wait just a minute-" Akane tried to inject.  
Nodoka continued as if uninterrupted. "But try to learn the techniques, too, all right? You need to maintain plausible deniability."  
"M- mom!" Ranma squealed.  
"Did she say when she wanted you to leave? There aren't any holidays coming up, but I suppose we can have miss a week or two of school, just the once."  
"I'm not going on a training trip with Shampoo!" Ranma pleaded, "I don't even know if she's still in Japan!"  
His mother blinked. "Of course she is. Honestly, from what your father has told me this is the most realistic plan elder Cologne has come up with yet. Just wear a condom, you hear? Shampoo might not want you to, but she won't hold out on you for two weeks if you insist, and we can't have you have your _first _child out of wedlock-"  
"Ranma…"  
Any other day, Ranma would have fled as fast as he could, but tired and manhandled as he was, he found himself too paralysed with fear to even protest his innocence at this stage.  
Nodoka noticed the change in temperature, and turned to the youngest Tendo. "Now, Akane, you are just going to have to stand back and wait your-"  
And for Ranma, there was mallet.

---

What a pleasant thing it is to discover I got five reviews in under a day. You do your thing, I do mine.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: White space will be added. Silly me.

Now, about Nodoka… I happen to like the versions I've read that portray her as pro-polygamy. Standardised Insincere apologies if that is not your cup of tea, but rest assured that this aspect of her is not going to get a lot of screen time.

R.T.: The entirety of the premise has not yet been made clear to the reader. Cologne would have preferred a more subtle approach if circumstances had allowed.

[Signifies crazy people speaking English]

---

Nothing happened on their way to school.  
Matters were equally calm at the gate. The first few weeks after the wedding the hentai horde had resumed their attempts to beat and date the youngest Tendo. The two of them had feared seeing how close the horde had come to losing her once and for all had pushed the boys into stepping up their attacks permanently. But compared to the beginning of the last year this wave had proven little more than a death throe. By now the attacks had almost come to full stop.

Akane breathed a deep sigh of relief. "It's nice not having to worry about coming on time," she said.

Ranma nodded. He couldn't agree more.

"Saotome Ranma!" Ok, well, so _Kuno_ had risen to a whole new level of persistence, but at least the rest of them had calmed down. As best Ranma could estimate, the captain of the Kendo team had been training a lot recently. He still went down in about three seconds, but he imagined if Akane had had to deal with him herself it would probably have taken her a full minute to pummel him into silence.

---

"Psst! Ucchan!" She didn't hear him. Well, shouting while whispering was difficult. "Ucchan!"

She blinked, and turned to meet his eyes. "I need your help," he mouthed.

She raised an eyebrow.

He nodded his head toward the lunchbox that lay on his bench, and ran a finger over his throat in a slashing motion.

She smiled innocently, pretending not to understand.

Colour drained from his face. He nodded at the food again, then over toward Akane, then back to the food.

Still with the wide, innocent smile that didn't fool anyone.

He was glad their friendship had recovered as well as it had. He really was. But some things were too serious to joke about.

"Please."

She finally nodded, and he sighed in relief. He would survive lunch.

When the bell rang the end of the class, he moved too quickly for Akane to speak to him. She usually didn't, but on the few occasions that she wanted to spend lunch with him it was nearly impossible to avoid the mallet/toxic waste dilemma.

He made his way to the roof, and was soon joined by the Okonomiyaki chef.

"Hey, Ranchan."

He smiled. She was carrying her own box; one with proper food in it. She gave him most of its contents, and he began eating, thankful for the moment of peace.

"Why don't you ever bring leftovers?" Ukyo asked.

"Never anything left. When I ask Kasumi to set something aside pop always manages to find it."

She frowned. "Why don't you beat him up?"

"I do. It doesn't work. It's like he considers it a personal duty or something… Plus, lately I think mom's been encouraging him. Anything to push Akane and I closer."

She nodded, eating her own share at a more reasonable pace.

"How are the two of you doing?" she asked.

He had to pause at that. Ukyo had been a good friend lately; she had fed him, talked with him and displayed a complete lack of initiative in the assault department.

"I don't know," he said, carefully.

"Have things been better… lately?" she asked.

"I guess. it's very… tense, after the wedding."

She nodded. "You know, I'm… sorry, about that."

"It's okay, Ucchan." He looked her in the eye, and as blind to other people's emotions as he was told he was, he noticed both pain and regret in there. "I can't say it was a good thing, what you did, but… I'm glad you know it was wrong." He gave her a brief smile, trying to lighten the mood. Then he stole her food.

A thin red line where the mini spatula had drawn blood and a small second helping later, Ranma told her about his meeting with Cologne. He wasn't stupid enough to reveal exactly what the old ghoul had said, but he gave her the general picture.

She listened, frowning as she considered what he said. "Have you seen Shampoo since then?"

"No."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

He paused. "The wedding, I think. I don't remember a single encounter after that, cat form or otherwise."

"That's strange…"

"Yeah."

"Hey, do you know how long the Cat Café was closed?"

He blinked. "Closed?"

"It's been shut for weeks. I know because I've had more customers." "And more complains about how I don't dress up as a hussy to wait on them" she whispered under her breath. "I can't remember how long it was, though, maybe over a month. But now they're open again."

Ranma frowned. What could the amazons have been doing for that long?

…There was no chance his mother was right, was there? It seems like the kind of thing Shampoo might pull, but… Cologne at least would have to know that the fathers would never let him go on a training trip with Shampoo, at least not without forcing Akane to go with them…

No, no it had to be something else.

He sighed. Whatever it was, he would find out soon enough. If the cat café was open again that meant he would be run onto by Shampoo sooner or later without having to look for her. Might as well enjoy the peace while it lasted.

---

The next day, it would turn out, did not offer all that much peace to enjoy.

The principal had gathered the student body up for another 'surprise', and Ranma, focusing on the foe in front of him, completely forgot to worry about his son.

And now she was paying for it.

"What is this supposed to mean!?" Kuno demanded, the water rifle lying uselessly on the ground beside him.

She gritted her teeth, and wondered which of the Kunos to pummel the hardest into the ground for this.

The students of Furinkan High watched in silence.

"You! You!" Kuno exclaimed, pointing at her. "You were HIM! And now you're YOU!"

He turned to the side, and saw Nabiki taking bets from some of the wealthier students as to how things would develop from there. "Mercenary wench! What is the meaning of this!?"

Nabiki turned from her dealings, and cast a quick, studying gaze on Ranma. Then she turned to Kuno. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"What?!" he bellowed.

"_Everybody_ knows that Ranma turns into a woman when doused with cold water." She gestured to the throng of spectators. "Isn't that right?"

There was a murmur of agreement.

"It's not like _you were stupid enough to be the last one in school to realise this_, right, Kuno-baby?"

He blinked. "I… I…" He turned back to Ranma. "You… you're… him?"

The shock in Kuno's eyes was enough to dissipate the worst of Ranma's anger.

[What's This?] came the principal's voice from the podium.

Kuno raised a wail of hurt and betrayal. "Father, the evil sorcerer is none other than pig-tailed girl!" He turned back to Ranma. "What _happened to you_ to draw you so far into the dark arts? What _travesty_ pushed you to enslave so many innocents with your foul magic?"

And, that quickly, the anger was back.

"I shall be your saviour, pig-tailed sorceress, and _together_ we shall right the wrongs you have committed!" He closed his hand dramatically into a fist. "Oh it shall be a long and perilous journey, but I shall waken the light of love in your dark and beautiful heart! And then we shall save the fair maiden Akane, together!"

The principal looked on, in stunned silence, as Akane and Ranma beat his son into a pulp in a not so much coordinated as coincidental effort.

After half a minute of watching this take place he slowly raised an arm, and took off his glasses. He pulled the rope that had been hanging at his side, and two massive curtains pulled apart to reveal another set of obligatory haircuts for the student body. He studied Ranma for a moment, then looked back at the drawn haircuts. He looked back to Ranma. He nodded, determined at last on a course of action. He coughed, and lifted the microphone. "Any student who can bring me proof of having cut Ranma's hair according to the girl's fashion will be granted immunity from all future hair cuts."

Ranma froze, and took in the speculative looks he was getting from the a hundred and fifty or so people in his direct line of sight.

The principal, having settled on this course of action, nodded to himself again, deciding to go all out. "Their whole _class_ will be granted immunity from all future hair cuts!"

---

Lots and lots of mini chapters. Well, at least I'll be able to keep the pace up. Anyway, crazy Asian countryside and all that, so I have no internet access over the weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: SHAME on me for not updating in over a week. There, now _you_ don't get to say it.

Any ideas, large or small, inspired or taken from this fic are, of course, up for grabs. There is no money involved, and chances are if I liked the idea well enough to use it, I'd like whatever fic you were thinking of using it in as well.

Ransack everything.

---

The week that followed was bad.

Pantyhose Tarou had come by, and while he hadn't managed to kidnap anyone this time, it wasn't for lack of trying. Not only had he gotten more accustomed to using his cursed form in combat, but he had obviously been working out, and Ranma was feeling it in his ribs. Dr. Tofu had assured him nothing was broken, but, then again, it would also be a few more days before the pain subsided.

And things were not getting better. All he needed now was for a new fiancée to appear, or Herb to decide he wanted to settle the score between them.

In fact the only thing he had to be thankful for, lately, was the Amazons' absence. And that was beginning to worry him. Shampoo was very clearly up to something, and the old ghoul was in on it. And while he could handle Shampoo – not without effort – the Matriarch was a considerably more scary foe to have to go up against.

By his most optimistic estimates, it would still be over a decade before he could consistently beat the old woman in a _fair_ fight, and most of his life before he could outwit her outside of combat. He _could_ ask Happosai for assistance with the former, but judging by past experience the pervert was likely to die of old age before he gave Ranma anything useful without a horrible catch or price attached.

Mousse was gone, as well. Shampoo wasn't that bad when she wasn't trying to seduce him, beat up his friends or claw his sanity apart, but the blind boy was _just_ SO _annoying_.

His thoughts were interrupted. It took him a moment to recognise the sound he heard as bicycle bells. When he turned around, it was with a smile on his face, relieved at the prospect of finally getting to question Shampoo about what her great grandmother was up to.

Which was why the impact of the Cat Café's delivery bike felt a lot more painful than he remembered it. It quashed his face and pushed him down into the asphalt.

It felt heavier than usual, too. "Pain," he groaned, and opened his eyes. On the bike sat not Shampoo, but Mousse, a new pair of even thicker glasses over his eyes.

"Saotome!" he bellowed.

Ranma pushed the bike away and stood up. "You!? Why are _you_ on the bike? Where's Shampoo?"

For reply he was left to dodge chains, grappling hooks and – AARGH, water balloons! He noticed too late to dodge the splash, but caught one of the many colourful bringers of despair and hurled it back. It got Mousse in the face, causing him to pause in his attack and wipe his glasses with one sleeve.

Ranma stared at him. "You… didn't change," he said.

"Your perceptiveness astounds me," Mousse jeered.

"You, are you…? Are you cured?"

"Indeed."

Ranma gaped. "You returned to Jusenkyo?"

Mousse nodded.

A faint light of hope lit up in the back of Ranma's mind, but it died almost as soon as it had sparked. "Did you… did you bring any nannichuan?"

Mousse laughed. "Of course not."

Ranma suppressed her disappointment. Then another thought occurred. "And… Shampoo? Is she cured too?"

Mousse scowled. There was a dangerous gleam in his thick, non-see-through glasses.

"And, err, why are you on deliveries, anyway? Where _is_ Shampoo?"

"Saotome!" Mousse shouted, and launched another attack.

Ranma dodged, backing slowly, not wanting to risk knocking Mousse unconscious if there was any chance she could get more information out of him.

"Like! You! Don't! Know!" Mousse screamed, unleashing weapon after weapon from his hidden arsenal.

"How the heck am I supposed to know?!" Ranma demanded. "You guys just up and left and weren't seen by anyone for over a month!"

Mousse paused. "You mean you don't know?" he asked, softly.

Ranma nodded. "No idea."

"Lies!" Mousse spat, leaping in to attack with his short range weapons.

Ranma continued dodging for a full minute, but as Mousse didn't let up on the attacks and didn't speak while he fought, she finally went on the offensive. It took her all of thirty more seconds to bully Mousse into submission.

"Look, just tell me what's going on," she said.

"I don't know!" he complained.

Ranma frowned. "What? Then why were you attacking me?"

"The old monkey!" Mousse whined. "She said you would know."

Her frown deepened. "What? She never told me anything. What did she say, exactly?"

Mousse steadied himself, recalling the Matriarch's words. "You will be making the deliveries for now. Sooner or later I'm sure you will run into Ranma, and then you can talk to him about it." He scowled again. "So now I'm talking to you."

Ranma muttered a few choice insults under her breath. "Look, I don't know what the old bat is up to." She sighed, concentrating. Today was Sunday, so there was no school, and he didn't have anything else planned.

He set off over the roofs in the direction of the Cat Café.

---

Cologne sat sipping tea at one of the customer tables.

She looked up and raised an eyebrow when Ranma came in.

"Speak up," Ranma demanded.

"Would you like a little tea? I just prepared a kettle, and the sort is next to impossible to get your hands on outside of the Joketsuzoko."

Ranma scowled. "Where's Shampoo? I want to talk to someone who's sane around here."

"You met Mousse?" Cologne asked. Then she sighed. "I guess it was too optimistic to hope you would come of your own accord."

"Where is she?"

Cologne made a dismissive gesture. "It's all very mysterious. Please, sit down, and we can continue our talk from last time."

She remained standing. "Where's Shampoo?"

Cologne raised her staff in Ranma's general direction, causing her to flinch.

"Sit down, please."

Ranma reluctantly acquiesced.

"So you met Mousse," Cologne said, sounding as casual as she had ever heard her.

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"Curse cured, Shampoo missing, you sent him after me."

"Wrong on one. I made him take over the deliveries. I expected him to attack you, but I certainly didn't tell him to."

"Yeah, well, he did."

Cologne nodded disinterestedly. "So what have you been thinking about these last ten days?"

Ranma shrugged, steeling herself for a conversation that wasn't going to go where she wanted it to for a while. "Nothing much. Stuff's been happening. The school's a war zone. Tarou's growing stronger…"

"The usual, then."

Ranma snorted. "Worse."

"Oh dear. And no bright points?"

"I _was_ enjoying the fact that these crazy foreigners I know haven't tried anything. And then you came back to Nerima, wherever you've been."

"Dear me, are we that bad, Ranma?"

Again, she wasn't calling her son-in-law… "I want to know what you and Shampoo are up to."

Cologne made another dismissive gesture. "I assure you Shampoo wants no part in this."

Ranma frowned. She considered that in silence for a while.

"So… that's why she isn't here? You sent her away?"

Cologne ignored her. Instead she asked a question of her own. "Ranma, have you considered what I asked you to think about the last time we met?"

She frowned. "Not much."

Cologne sighed. "Why?"

"'Cause you're up to something and I don't trust you."

"_Look_," Cologne said, in a tone that held a spear to the throat of any notion Ranma might have been entertaining of interrupting her. "If I tell you two plus two equals four, does it matter what you think of me?"

Ranma frowned. "Err… I guess… no?"

"And if I tell you it equals five, does it matter if it's me or Kasumi who says it?"

"Um. You'd… both be wrong?"

"Yes. And if I tell you something else, should the truth or falsity of it be judged solely by the fact that it's _me_ saying it? Or should you consider it on its own terms and merits?"

"Where are you getting at?"

"I want you to _ask yourself the question_: What kind of relationship could you have with Akane?"

Ranma scowled. "But you're just saying that because you want me to marry Shampoo!"

"I'm not _giving_ you the answer. You know what I think, but I'm _telling_ you to think it through on your _own_. Spend some time with the girl. Talk to her. Imagine what it would _really_ be like if you married her, whether it be a week, a year or a decade from now. _Think_."

"Tch!" Ranma stood up. "You're worse than Ryoga."

"And so you are walking away without the answers you came for?" She raised an eyebrow.

"You obviously aren't going to give me them anyway."

"What are your questions?"

"Where's Shampoo?" she asked.

"Somewhere where you can't talk to her."

"That's all you are going to say?"

"For now."

Ranma let his arms fall, feeling weary. "Look, just… just tell my why you are doing this."

"I want you to fall in love with Shampoo," the old matriarch said.

"And how do you expect me to do that without letting me even see her?"

Cologne shrugged. "I'm sure you'll get to see her _eventually_."

"Well, why not now?"

"_Because_, right now, if I told you everything, you wouldn't fall in love with her."

Ranma almost laughed. She threw her arms out. "Then _why_ are you doing this?"

"I need you to fall _out_ of love with Akane before you fall _in_ love with Shampoo."

He recoiled slightly at that. He was still very uncomfortable with anyone saying he was in love at all. And it didn't help that she was being perfectly calm and non-threatening about it.

He paused, considering his next words carefully. "And if you can't have that?"

"Then I fear quite a few people are going to end up miserable about it."

"Is that a threat?"

"The Joketsuzoku would give you no grief."

He rubbed his eyes, deciding to give up for the day. "Is there anything else?"

"I think we are done for today. Oh, one more thing?"

"…Yeah?"

"Mousse has got a new pair of glasses. I'm sure his eye sight will continue to deteriorate, but for the next few weeks at least he should be able to see reasonably well."

Ranma nodded. "Great…"

---

I'm not sure about this chapter… it certainly wasn't as funny as the first three. Guess I'll have to make up for that next time.

Oh yeah, and I can honestly say I was delayed in uploading this because of an internal error in the fanfictiondotnet machinery (*cough* for a few hours *cough*).


	5. Chapter 5

Ranma was smarter than people gave him credit for. Smarter than _Cologne_ gave him credit for, at least. He knew she was very good at the whole 'subtle' thing, and that he himself wasn't. So he would do the clever thing and not _play_ the subtle game, and he'd see what she thought of that!  
He was willing to bet that she wouldn't expect what he was doing now, for instance. It certainly made the Tendos blink, him coming home with flowers for Akane.  
Cologne thought she knew him! Bah, she was trying to plant seeds of mistrust against his own feelings in him.

Well he didn't think that would work, subtle though it was, but _just in case_ he was going to take Akane out on a date tonight, and he was going to Show that dried up mummy.  
The fathers had erupted in toasts and back-pattings, and Nabiki and his mother were huddled in the corner, whispering to each other, each looking up every now and then to study him.  
But Akane, she was smiling.  
Then she stopped smiling, and walked up to him.  
She started circling him.

"Err…" he said.

"Where is it?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Where's what?" he replied, confused.

"There's some magical object making you nice or something…"

He was slightly annoyed at that reaction, but suppressed the thought. "There's nothing wrong with me."

His fiancée peered up suspiciously at him. "Did anyone make you drink something?"

"Err… no?"

She continued studying him sceptically. "Are you sure? No contact with anything magical at all?"

"None!" he exclaimed.

"And you haven't hit your head?"

"No!"

"Then what have you done or what do you want?"

"Nothing! I just wan… I just want a date!"

Akane blinked, and stood still for a few seconds. "Are you… sure?" she asked,a vestige of suspicion remaining in her eyes.

"I promise."

Soun approached Ranma from behind, and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know this _great _restaurant-"

Akane turned to him. "You stay the hell out of this!" she demanded.

Her father looked taken aback, but Nodoka came to Akane's rescue. "I think that may be just as well, Soun."

"But I'm only trying to help!" he protested.

"He's right dear," Genma filled in. "We only want to make sure the two have a wonderfully romantic atmosphere for their date."

"I'm sorry dear," Nodoka said, "but whatever Ranma's got planned, I think it's better to let him run his course with this one."

"But-"

"No buts."

A few seconds passed in silence. Akane looked up at him again, searching his eyes for something. "You promise you have nothing stupid planned?"

"Yes," he replied. "Honestly."

She took a deep breath. "Then I accept."

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

A quick outburst of paternal joy and approval and a subtle flick of a katana later, the two lovebirds left the Tendo home for a magical night in the city.

And then it rained.

The restaurant was happy to provide him with hot water, but it had still dampened his mood a little.

They ate in silence. Akane was pretty, despite the rain that had appeared without warning and messed somewhat with her hair.

The silence grew slightly awkward, but he didn't know what to say.

Akane came to his rescue. "So are you gonna tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he asked.

"Why you asked me out?"

"I told you, no reason."

She paused, trying to phrase her question in such a way that even Ranma would understand. "What… did you _do_, just _before_ you decided to ask me out on a date?"

Ranma hesitated. "Well... Not that that had anything to do with it, but I was talking to Cologne."

Akane blinked. "…Excuse me?"

"Hey, I didn't see Shampoo or anything. For all I know she ain't even back in Japan."

"She's been away?" she asked.

"All of them have. Mousse is cured and everything. But Shampoo's missing, and only Cologne knows where she is."

Akane frowned. "So... what does she want you to do?"

Ranma sighed. "You know, I honestly have no idea. I was gonna ask Shampoo what Cologne's up to, but... she isn't here."

"Do you think it might be like your mother said?"

Ranma shook his head. "No, that doesn't make any sense. I mean I can see Cologne coming up with some great challange, and have Shampoo offer to teach me a secret Amazon technique or something... But Shampoo isn't even _here_." He frowned. "I suppose Cologne might have put Shampoo in danger, so I'd have to go save her... But if that's the case, she's sure taking her sweet time telling me about it."

Akane looked thoughtful. Then she frowned again. "But what's that got to do with our date?"

"Hm?"

"You said you decided right after you talked to Cologne. Why did that make you decide?"

"No reason!" he exclaimed. "Look, I just wanted to go on a date. Is that so hard to believe?"

Akane kept looking at him like she expected him to fess up eventually, but he ignored her and looked about them in the restaurant. It wasn't a particularily fancy place, but they had food from all over the world, and he had been meaning to go just to taste the different foodstuffs.

At one of the tables he saw a man eating a strange gelatinous looking substance. It quivered when the man took a piece off with his spoon.

"What do you think that is?" Ranma asked, nodding toward it.

Akane looked over, and frowned. "It's pudding."

"But it's see-through."

"Don't you remember? I made one like that last Christmas."

Ranma went rigid. He chanced a new inspection of the man's desert, but it looked nothing like anything he had ever seen in the Tendo household. Had he simply been out that time, or...

"Oh, yeah," he lied, weakly.

Akane didn't say anything, but he could feel that she knew he was just trying to placate her.

They finished eating in silence.

zzzzzzzz

After dinner they went to the cinema, and Ranma agreed to the first movie Akane suggested. That seemed to cheer her up, and though Ranma didn't enjoy the prospect of seeing a film that from the description might as well have had CHEESY in the title, he took solice in the massive amounts of popcorn he had managed to produce with a cupful of water.

The movie turned out to be worse than he had expected. It was so sickeningly sweet at times that he had to grip his seat till his knuckles turned white to avoid noticably squirming. There was a point, however, after Akane had finished her share of the popcorn, when she had put her hand down on the arm rest, and she was too absorbed by the movie to notice she had put her arm down on top of his. He tensed for a moment, but she didn't seem to notice what she had done. He could feel her hand a top of his. It was warmer than he had expected, the arm giving off a slow, steady pulse that made his stomach flutter. He enjoyed the movie after that.

zzzzzzzzzzz

They had returned home after the film, and Ranma had fallen asleep with a smile on his lips, the old mummy be damned.

The next day brought school, and all the chaos that that entailed in Nerima. Gosunkugi had developed a new use for black magic, which he used to give people a mild headache over a distance. Ranma wouldn't have found out if it wasn't for Ukyo, whose friend had heard the creepy boy talking to himself. As it was the headache had stopped growing worse after Ranma had trashed Gosunkugi's hidden altar in an old storage room, but the headache he already had remained for the whole day, and had only partially subsided in the morning.

The tuesday also brought a new headache in the form of Kuno, who, with his new 'understanding' of Ranma's situation had redoubled his efforts to help. He had gone about this by setting up water traps over the entire school, most of which accomplished nothing but more than soaking the other students, who didn't have Ranma's reflexes. When he finally did fall for one, he discovered that there was no warm water to be had in the whole school; even the staff room's boiler had been removed, by decree of the head master.

The one upshot was that Akane was acting friendlier toward him, even if that did mean he had to choke down one of her lunches on the thursday. It wasn't like she was _entirely_ unaware of her own inability to cook. She had somehow managed to make more than enough food for him, but litte enough that she herself was 'forced' to buy a sandwitch like the other students. He came close to pointing this out to her, but he knew that would only get him into more trouble, so he suffered in silence.

zzzzzzzzzz

It wasn't until the following tuesday he found the world blinking out of existence and he woke up in the dungeon like room again.

"Auch," he said, glaring at the Amazon elder.

Cologne was sitting on her staff again, a disapproving scowl on her face.

"Well, what do you want?" he asked. "Let's get this over with."

Her scowl deepened. "You are a stupid man, young Ranma."

He blinked. Then he put on a scowl of his own. "Excuse me? What did you say?"

"I said you are stupid. Or at least you are acting like it."

He wasn't used to Cologne throwing insults, and he certainly wasn't going to just take it. "How the heck am I stupid, you dried up mummy?"

"You don't think. You paint yourself a pretty little picture and pretend that's the end of it."

He frowned. "How?"

"Bah," the elder erupted.

"Wh- what's that supposed to mean?"

"You took the Tendo gir for one date, and that settled all your concerns?"

"Hey, how do you know-"

"Spying," she cut him off. "I asked around, after you had left. But what did the two of you discuss, when you were having dinner?"

"I don't remember. Nothing much."

"Nothing much?" she prodded.

"Hey, why are you being so much angrier this time?"

"Because it irritates me how slow you are."

Ranma was positively fuming at this point, but was hanging in the air, shackled so he couldn't even turn his head, much less attempt to break free.

"What did I do wrong?" he demanded.

"You didn't do _anything_, Ranma. That's what you did."

"We spent the whole night together without arguing once!"

"Yes. And you are saying that like it is something special."

"Well for _us_ it is!"

Cologne sat still, looking at him in silence.

He considered what he had just said. He grimaced. "Guess I walked right into that one, huh?"

Cologne remained silent, unblinking.

"Look, I just... We had a nice date, ok? Why do you have to make it sound like that proves something bad?"

Cologne's face relaxed, looking sympathetic for once. "I'm sure you had a nice night. I'm sure that meant something to you. But it says very little about your future together."

"Well, yeah... But you don't have to do the same things every day."

"Of course not, young man. But you have to consider what your _everyday_ life would be like, not just if you could have nice moments together every now and then.

Ranma hung silent.

"You know why I came to Nerima, Ranma, but I honestly do believe it would do you good to consider these things..." She sighed. "I think we are done for today."

"Gonna knock me over the head this time?" he asked sourly.

She shook her head. Then she hopped forward, and unlocked the shackles in a fluid movement.

Ranma landed on his feet, and looked around. The torch light (Who used _torches_ in this day and age?) revealed about as much space behind him as in front of him, so in total the room was maybe as big as the Tendo living room. There was another set of shackles by the wall behind him.

"You use this room often?" he asked.

Cologne shrugged. "Mostly for storage. I cleared it out for our sessions."

"Where'd you put all the stuff?"

"Shipped back to China, most of it."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't expect to be in Japan much longer," she replied.

He frowned, but she didn't look like she was going to say more on the subject.

zzzzzzzzz

There. (Oh my, he updated! This must mean he's going to resume adding chapters at a reasonable pace, and never abandon us again!)

Again: The machinery has utterly killed the formatting of this fic. I'll be adjusting earlier chapters, but I may not have time to do so before people start discovering that I've updated the fic.


	6. Chapter 6

Response to reviews: Woo, people remembered me! Your reviews have been appreciated.

Lady Relena (Back in April, *cough*): That is a very good point. It will be addressed.

Rewind: Appreciation appreciated. The lack of post manga Shampoo/Ranma was what pushed me to begin this fic in the first place.

Major Mike: That's a secret. :p

eternalfox: In my universe, you are wrong.

xxxxx

"Yo, Akane!"

The heir to the Tendo Dojo looked from her homework to see her fiancee hanging upside down in her window.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Let's spar."

Akane blinked.

"Really?"

Ranma nodded. "Now."

Akane smiled. "I'll be down in a sec."

Ranma jumped down on the ground, and did a few katas while he waited. His fiancee came out a minute later, having swapped her clothes for a gi.

"Alright, try to hit me," Ranma said.

Akane attacked. It was a pitiful attempt, but at least she tried.

Unlike many of their earlier sessions, Ranma didn't outright dodge her strikes, but just blocked them. Countering only when the gaps in Akane's defences widened more than usual beyond what was acceptable.

"What changed your mind?" Akane asked, coming in for an attack.

"Bout what?"

"I thought you didn't like sparring with me."

Ranma shook her head.

"I don't. But ya gotta learn, right? And I'm the best teacher you got."

The tomboy frowned, and aimed for him with a roundhouse kick that would have done a lot better if it had hit.

"Then what?"

"Nothing. Just wanna see if you've improved."

"Yeah? How am I doing?"

"Pitifully," Ranma jeered, blocking another attack, quickly circling in to tap her between the shoulder blades.

She scowled, spinning around to strike with more enthusiasm than skill.

He could feel her anger mount, and every strike he avoided added to her emotions, causing even more cracks to appear in her defences.

He began to add more counters, not striking hard, but landing taps to expose the weaknesses in her defence.

This added to her anger.

Finally he could take it no longer, and he complained. "You can't just put your all into the attack, stupid. You've got to save some for defence."

He didn't know if she could hear him, but she didn't change anything. He started adding more push to his counters, not hurting her, but disrupting her balance a bit, forcing her to tone down the offence or fall over.

She fell over.

She leaped up decently enough, but launched straight into the same useless attacks as before.

"Why don't you try to get better?" he prodded.

"I am, you prick!" Her punches increased in sheer power, but the added momentum only made it that much easier to lean out of the way.

"You're doing it all wrong!" he pointed out. "Really, just slow down, you're not accomplishing anything by just barging in fists blurring."

"That's what you do!" she screamed, landing her tenth blow in a row on empty air.

"Yeah, but I'm not slow," Ranma jeered. "Or clumsy."

Akane exploded. Her strikes were imbued with that ridiculous strength that only an angry Akane could provide, but they were also imbued with only the accuracy that an angry Akane could provide.

"Try harder!" he demanded. This was getting ridiculous. Even more so than usual.

With one final useless attack, Akane overexerted herself, and Ranma added just a little to her momentum with a tap, sending her tumbling to the ground, screaming with impotent rage.

He went over to her, and stretched out his hand to help her up. "Come on, Akane. Are you gonna let the old ghoul be right?"

Akane's eyes had been glaring unseeingly at the sky, but on hearing that they shifted to her fiance. "What?" she whispered.

"Come on," he said.

Akane slapped his hand away, and stood up. "What was that? What's Cologne got to do with this?"

Ranma froze.

Oh yeah, that hadn't been too smart a thing to bring up. Funny how it seemed so obvious in retrospect.

"You only wanted to spar with me because of something Cologne said?"

"Well," Ranma began. "I mean to say-"

"What did she say!" Akane demanded.

"Um, er, just you know, Akane can't fight kind of thing-" he said, backing away, panic mounting. "She didn't say anything else at all!"

"Raaan maaa!" Akane screamed, and lunged at him.

xxxxx

Having been denied dinner (Or rather, having been out cheated in speed eating by his father) Ranma thought to make his way to Ucchan's.

He was fuming. With Cologne for having provoked him into picking a fight with Akane, and with himself for falling for it.

But there was also a slight nagging feeling in the background. Cologne was trying to widen the gap between Ranma and Akane... but she was doing it by provoking him to spend more time with the tomboy. And she wasn't interfering with what they actually did together.

There was a presence.

He looked up. Against the setting sun was the contour of a girl.

It was Kodachi Kuno.

She wasn't laughing, though, just standing there, and against the sun Ranma couldn't see her face.

"Y- Yo," he said.

Kodachi was holding something.

It was a bucket.

"Ranma," she said. Her voice had a subdued tinge to it. A sadness.

"What is it?" he asked, both surprised at the tone of her voice and made nervous by the presence of the bucket.

"My brother told me something today..."

Ranma gulped.

"Can you guess what it was he said?"

Ranma had an inkling. "No?"

"He said... he said my Ranma-darling and the pigtailed girl was the same."

His heart beating faster, Ranma considered the situation. Kodachi finding out about his curse, was that a good or a bad thing? It might get her to stop attacking his female form. Or it might cause her to feel betrayed because he hadn't told her before.

In either case, though, maybe... she wouldn't be more dangerous than before? If she was rational about it?

He gulped.

She stood quiet against the sunset for a little while. Then she continued.

"At first I thought my brother was delusional - he has been wrong before. But then he told what he had learned from the mercenary girl, Nabiki..."

Thanks a lot, Ranma thought.

Kodachi jumped down on the road, a few metres in front of him.

"Ranma, are you cursed?"

He could only nod in silence.

She looked sadly at him, raising the bucket.

She splashed it at him.

Had he not been so surprised by the whole situation, he might have thought to suspect there was something wrong with the water.

As it was, he was very lucky there wasn't.

Kodachi backed away, moaning sadly to herself.

Ranma stepped forward, trying to find something to say. But the Kuno girl was acting so strangely. She wasn't seeing the Black Rose, but a girl, looking hurt. And she had done it. And she didn't know what to do.

"Kodachi..."

"No!" the girl screamed, backing away. Then she stopped again, and raised her eyes to meet her gaze. A tear had fallen from one eye, but the look in them now froze Ranma where she stood.

There was hatred in Kodachi's eyes.

"I can explain," Ranma said.

"No! Kodachi screamed, backing further away from her. Then she turned, ran, and disappeared, leaving Ranma utterly confused.

The sheer suddenness of the encounter had stunned her, and now she had seen Kodachi of all people cry. She didn't know what to think.

And she couldn't help but feeling guilty. It wouldn't have been difficult to reveal the curse to Kodachi sooner, if only she had thought of it. But somehow she had never considered telling the Kunos out of worry for how they'd react.

When Tatewaki had found out, his reaction had been about what Ranma had expected, but Kodachi... Kodachi had been hurt.

All thoughts of where she had been headed forgotten, Ranma stood still on the sidewalk, trying to sort his thoughts out.

There was the ring of a bicycle bell.

He sighed with relief. It wasn't going to help with Kodachi, but at least now he could finally ask Shampoo what the hell the old mummy was up to wait a minute-

Keer-ash!

xxxxx

Well, believe it or not, but the snowball has actually begun rolling. Stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: Well, this is a quick update, if a short one. I had the time, I was made happy by reviews, and I had to clear up a little misunderstanding - I can't leave y'all with unfounded hope, now can I?

Response to reviews:  
Aondehafka: Your praise means a little extra to me, as Dream of the Earthbound is without a doubt my favourite Ranma fic.  
eternalfox: In my universe, you are wrong.  
Rewind: We are in agreement on Mousse and Amazon misandry (or lack thereof), but we'll get to that... Eventually.  
People who thought Shampoo was back: Psh, you wish.

xxxxx

Having thoroughly beaten Mousse into a pulp for taking up Shampoo's biking habits, Ranma continued on his way to Ucchan's.

Well, this was just great, he thought. With his Amazon fiancee gone from Nerima and Ukyo so much less aggressive than she used to be, how did all that trouble still manage to pile up? Would he _never_ be free of all this?

And what was with Kodach? Being run over by Mousse had jolted Ranma back to reality, but he still couldn't understand just what had happened there. Okay, so he had known that the Black Rose would need to be dealt with eventually, but he had always dismissed her as as much a whackjob as her brother. And now she'd... _cried_? Kodachi Kuno?

Gah! He hated it when girls cried! It wasn't manly, making a girl cry. It wasn't right.  
And that look of hatred, when she met his eyes... that had been scary. Better than if she had continued crying, but still scarier than he had ever seen her. He would have to check to see she wasn't still sad in a couple of days, and then he could worry about any revenge she might be planning.

He reached Ucchan's, and the two of them talked a little while he be whittled down her supply of okonomiyaki ingredients. It really helped, just being able to talk things over with someone. He wasn't sure it was fair to Ukyo - he wasn't certain how she felt for him now - it had been over six weeks since the wedding, and she hadn't pushed herself on him since then, but still, that might just mean she was keeping it bottled up inside.

"I dunno... I just wish I had a clue what was going on..." He looked up at his oldest friend, who stood staring unseeingly at the food she was making. "But what about you?" he asked, trying to sound cheerful. "How are things?"

Ukyo blinked, and looked up to meet his gaze. "Just tired, Ranchan." She smiled, though she did look a little worn.  
"The restaurant's going well, I suppose. Shampoo's gone, so they've had to hire a local to help cook at the Cat Cafe." Her smile turned malicious. "Lots of customers went there for the hussy waitress, I think. Now that she's gone, people choose their lunch place by the food they get."

Ranma didn't point out that, in fact, what he heard in school was that the new girl wasn't very good at Chinese food. But then, he was sure Ukyo knew that, too.

Deep down.

XXXXX

The sunrise the next day was beautiful. Ranma didn't notice, because he was asleep, but still, it had been utterly gorgeous.

To be fair, he probably wouldn't have noticed even if he was awake, because there were buildings in the way, and all that. But if he had been somewhere outside the city - though not too far, because clouds are important in making a beautiful sunrise - but if he had been outside the city, but not too far - Actually, it would probably be easier to just find a high building close by, but if he had found a suitable building before hand, and he had been awake, he would have seen it was an absolutely gorgeous sunrise.

As it was, he found himself half asleep, left behind by Akane and running to school with a large stack of sandwitches in his hands. He had just swallowed the last piece of bread when he reached the school gates.

"Sorceress!"

Ranma groaned. This was quickly getting to be more creepy than it had ever been annoying before Kuno learned of the curse.

"Oh, in my mind I know tis but a spell that ties me to you, but in my heart I forgive you!"

Ranma pushed Kuno away with a disgusted expression on his face. The man was now bringing him flowers and asking for dates no matter what gender he saw Ranma in.

"You must persist, my love! I shall find a way to rid you of this evil magic! A cure! Together we shall-!"

Ranma stopped. He held Kuno at arm's length. "What did you say?"

Kuno looked ecstatic. "My pig-tailed girl! Is that you? Has the vile magic receeded? Has our love overcome the foul-?"

Ranma shook his upperclassman to silence. "What was that you said?

"A- A cure?" Kuno asked, stunned from how quickly Ranma had shaken him.

"What about a cure?"

Kuno managed to focus his eyes on him. "Yes! Yes, a cure! The mercenary wench, she told me! Far away, in the mountains in China there is a place of many magical springs-"

"Yes?" Ranma demanded.

The captain of the kendo team looked somewhat intimidated at the eagerness in Ranma's voice.

He loosened the grip. He looked around him. There was a small audience, but this was too important an opportunity to care about who might overhear.

"Kuno senpai," he said, trying to emulate the voice he used in his female form when trying to flirt his way to free ice cream. "Is it really true? You have found the hidden valley of Jusenkyo?"

Kuno looked stunned for a second, but he quickly recovered. "Yes! Yes, my pig-tailed goddess! It is true, I have finally found a means of rescue for you! I- I shall send immediately for the magical water to be transported to Japan, and then you can be a true woman again!"

Tatewaki began mumbling to himself, and Ranma let go of him in sheer disgust at the scenarios he must be playing out in his head, eyes closed, lips moving as though to kiss someone who wasn't there.

Ranma shivered. But then he went right back in there.

"Oh, Kuno! Kuno my hero!" he whispered in a feminine voice. A shiver went up his spine.

"Goddess!" Kuno called out, moving in for a sloppy hug.

Ranma dodged. "But Kuno! It is important you listen to me, you hear! The magic - the evil curse that only our love can lift - to break it I need the water of the Nannichuan, you hear me?"

Kuno looked surprised. "But my love, I- The Tendo mercenary told me only the _Ny_annichuan has the power to save a girl who has been turned into a man by the power of the foul springs!"

Ranma's mouth hung open. Well, that was technically true, he thought. That was a technically true piece of information Nabiki had sold to Kuno, for who knew how many thousands of yen...

"Yes, my hero," he said, thinking quickly. "Yes, it is true. But I- I have been further cursed!The Nyannichuan on its own can no longer save me! I need some Nannichuan as well!"

Now it was Kuno who looked surprised. "I see! So it must be, then! So it shall be!" Kuno shook his fist at the sky in solemn oath.

"Kiss me, my pig tailed girl!"

Ranma leaped aside. "I- I can feel him take over again, Kuno! Oh, you must hurry! I must have that water!"

"I swear it!" Kuno cried, flinging himself yet again at his pig tailed sorceress. "And then we can be together! Yes, I shall allow you to date me! My sister - but I shall plead for you. She must see that you are the victim of that evil place!"

"Kodachi?" Ranma asked. "How is she?"

Kuno paused in his assaults. "She is distraught... But I will make her see - she will understand - you are the victim. I shall save you!"

Kuno leaped again, but Ranma was too distracted to pay attention, merely keeping the deluded fool at arm's length, while he thought of Kodachi. It wasn't unexpected that she would be upset, but for even _Kuno_ to bring it up...

He could feel his enthusiasm at the promise of a cure wither. Not enough to let the opportunity pass by, but he would have to talk to the Mistress of Martial Arts Rythmic Gymnastics.

He would have to talk to her soon.

xxxxx

Author's note: No, no I do not intend for the Kunos to provide Ranma with a cure. There will be some plot significance to the attempt, but neither Ranma nor Tatewaki will have their wish. Nor will Ranma receive a new curse.

Also, I may as well have a vote. Ranma will not end up with Ukyo, but... When I began this fic I had intended to just let her slide silently into the 'friend' category without protest. But now me thinks that would be a little too out of character. So I guess a vote is in order. Shall we have the childhood friend walk silently into the night, or shall we have her make a heroic (doooomed!) last stand later in the fic?

Now I shall sleep. And then there will be a biology practical. Bleh.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Third time's the charm, right? This time I'll totally finish the fic. Totally. It's not like three quarters of it are still to come or anything.

There has been a fairly minor change made to the fic. It's nothing major, but for those of you who reread the fic within a day or two of seeing that there's an update: Whereas Cologne currently makes a couple of comments to the effect that 'Shampoo wants nothing to do with this', those will be edited to indicate that "Shampoo knows nothing of this."

That minor detail aside, note that this chapter will be a lot less funny than previous ones. I didn't find any way around that, since it's basically Ranma being put in a bad situation and given lots of time to think about things. Don't worry, there will be lots and lots of mayhem waiting for him in Nerima.

zzzzz

Ranma took a deep breath, and for a moment he thought of nothing but the pristine mountain air, the chirping of the birds and the rustling of countless leaves. He looked out over the forest that stretched beneath him... And he smiled.  
Nerima had its moments, but nothing made things feel just _right_ like a long walk behind you and a new environment to pratcise in.  
He heard Akane swear behind him.  
He turned around to see his fiancée manhandle the cooking pot, and his smile wiltered ever so slightly.

His mother had never quite gotten it out of her head that he might go away for a week or two with Shampoo, so she had arranged a two week leave from Furinkan for him. When she finally realised that the Chinese girl would not be in town to offer to take him on such a trip, Nodoka had returned to the principal and arranged a two week leave for Akane as well.

And though they had been united in their protests against the forced training trip, there had been little they could do now that Ranma's mother was pulling the strings.

Worse yet, his plan to borrow a second tent from Ukyo on the day they left had been foiled by his mother "offering" to drive them part of the way where they were going.

So that was the situation. One tent. One one-person tent, at that, and Akane's cooking to boot. It was going to be a long two weeks.

zzzzz

Ranma breathed out, focusing. She leaped off the little cliff she stood on, out through the water fall. The first dossen times she had tried this she had gotten swept away by the falling water and into the little lake. But that had been over a week ago, and every day she had made it further with her jumps. First she had managed to make it through the waterfall, but with her momentum so reduced that she didn't reach the opposite bank before gravity pulled her down into the water. As of last night, though, she was (usually) able to make it onto land before touching ground. Now she had made a circle with little stones there, and was aiming for it.

The ability to gracefully jump through thousands of liters of falling water might not be very likely to come up in a fight, but keeping her balance after getting knocked about in mid air sure would.

And more to the point, when she was practising her jumps she didn't have to think about Akane. A week and a half of trying to train with her had reduced Ranma almost to tears. The difference in their skill levels didn't enter into it. Akane had what it took to become a fairly good martial artist. She just didn't seem to want to. That, or she didn't want to learn from _him_.

Her problem was the same when she was training as when she was actually fighting. She could pick up a new move as well as anyone, but she either followed the moves she knew too rigidly or she forgot them and attacked with brute force. She never just _improvised_! Gah! How hard could it be? She got _angry_when she showed her how to do it.

Ranma hit the wall of falling water, the downward push knocking her off balance. There was little she could do about that; the flow was just too powerful and unpredictable. But the second she was out of the water she righted herself, and if she didn't land in the circle, she came closer to it than on most of her tries that day.

A couple more hours...

But it was probably time to head back. Akane got angry with her for trying to teach her things, but she got even angrier if she thought she stayed away for too long doing her own training. And if she got too annoyed, she might come looking for her. She wanted to keep this her own little place. Akane didn't see training like she did, and she wanted somewhere Akane couldn't find where training wasn't something you _had_to do.

She shook the worst of the water off, and headed off into the woods, towards the camp.

Her stomach made a pathetic sound, and she felt its pain. She had survived mostly on rice the last ten days, plus whatever vegetables and stuff she had been able to salvage by helping Akane with the cooking.

Her thoughts went out Nerima, and all the foodstuffs that were to be had there...

She stumbled. She got up, and her thoughts went back... To Okonomiyaki... To ramen... Oh, to just sit down in Ucchan's restaurant and _gorge_herself. Aaah... And all the Chinese foods that they would make for her at the Nekohanten... Shampoo could make noodles like a goddess.

...Of course, shampoo might not be there. Ranma frowned. If Shampoo wasn't back in Nerima by the time they came back, it would be over two months she hadn't been in Nerima. And Cologne didn't seem like she was going to tell her what had become of the most physical of her suitors anytime soon.

It was beginning to nibble at the edge of her mind. Shampoo was gone, and Cologne wanted her to do something. But what she wanted her to do was... give up on Akane. And she wouldn't tell her about Shampoo before that. And she expected to leave Japan soon.

Would that mean that if Ranma didn't change her mind very soon, Cologne was giving up? She couldn't think of anything that was likely to change the fact that she was engaged to Akane... As hideous as ths trip had been, with Nodoka's return the forces pushing them together were more relentless than ever before, and there didn't seem to be any way out.

What would happen if Cologne gave up, anyway? Would Shampoo have to go home as well? Well, no, probably not. Cologne was just there to help out a relative...

Wait.

She stopped.

What if _Shampoo _was the one who had given up?

Was it possible that Shampoo wasn't in Nerima because she wasn't after her anymore? She blinked a couple of times. But no... The Amazon laws... And Shampoo loved her, didn't she?

She felt a measure of wounded male pride at the notion that Shampoo might have given up. Of course she hadn't.

She laughed to herself. It sounded hollow.

Her smile faded. What if Shampoo _had_ given up? That was a good thing, right? But what would happen to Shampoo, with the crazy laws they had in the Amazon village? And why would she just up and leave without even _telling_her about it? Had she given up because she stopped loving her?

Something felt... if not off, at least like she didn't know the whole picture.

Why would Cologne stay behind if Shampoo had given up, for one? Shampoo had that strong sense of honour she herself did; if she had given up, she would return and tell the Amazons. So... presumably whatever the other Amazons had to say about forfeiting a Kiss of Marriage, even if Ranma _did _leave everything in Japan behind to go there, that wouldn't change Shampoo's position.

Ranma felt conflicted. If one of her fiancées had given up, that was a good thing.

...Wasn't it?

Because he wanted fewer fiancées. In fact he didn't want any, right now. Whatever stronger feelings he had had for Akane for the last few months had taken a horrible beating at the hands of... Well, of Akane. This past week and a half had made it clear just how much of a problem it would be trying to see her as anything like a lifelong training partner. She didn't see martial arts the same way she did. At the moment she was having difficulty seeing her as any kind of a partner at all.  
She didn't seem at all like the girl she had gone to the cinema with, just three weeks before.

So she didn't want any fiancées. But for Shampoo to just up and leave... And he had no idea what would happen to her, once the Amazons found out she had abandoned her task. What had probably already happened, since it was two months since she had left Nerima... Would she be allowed to just go back to her old life - but with the stigma of having broken tradition and failed an important mission?

What _did _they do with an Amazon Warrior who gave up on the Kiss of Marriage?

Well... Last time Cologne had dragged Shampoo's ass back to Japan, with a stop at Jusenkyo on the way, just to make it clear Shampoo was out of line. But... That time Ranma had fooled her into believing she was really a girl... And she thought it likely that Cologne had intervened for a relative. If her treatment was that harsh the first time, what would happen now, if Shampoo gave up _despite _having both known the truth and had the help of the Matriarch? Would she still be able to follow Cologne's footsteps and become an elder herself, one day?

She shook her head and put those thought out of her head. Up ahead she could see an ominous smoke rising from the campsite. It was too small to be a forest fire. Unfortunately.

zzzzz

Nothing like some time off on the countryside to make you think about things.

Anyway, as if it wasn't enough that I disappear for months on end, I also have another fic I want to get started on. A Ranma/Call of Cthulhu crossover. Yes, the role playing game. Because, you know, Nerima wasn't quite mad enough without cultists, monsters, oodles of dynamite, gods from the Cthulhu Mythos and people shouting 'dodge' and 'oh god my sanity' twice a minute.

Anyways. I'll try to focus on this one, because the bits I've been looking forward to writing are still quite far ahead.


	9. Chapter 9

I think, from now on, I'll be responding to reviews in reviews of my own.

zzzzz

The train ride home was quiet. Going out on their training trip, Ranma had felt a disquieting sense of foreboding, easily chalked up to worrying about Akane's cooking. But now... There was a sense of loss.

The old ghoul had been right about one thing. If he did marry Akane, there were a few people who would be miserable about it without her raising a finger. Two, in fact.

Ultimately, his Tendo fiancée's cooking skills weren't that important. Akane would either improve, or she would make herself really sick one day, and just give up.

But someone who made their fiancé sleep outside the tent for two weeks because she feared he would molest her... What did that say about their chances together?

Gah! This was too confusing. Sometimes, just _sometimes_, he thought they shared those beautiful moments that made him think it could work. But then, this training trip had showed him something. He could not go on long training trips with Akane. And that opened up a pit in his stomach that made him feel slightly nauseus. Because he needed these trips. And what kind of marriage would they have if he went away for years - or even just months, with her staying behind? Would they end up like Genma and Nodoka? He didn't like that thought one bit.

The train started slowing down as it neared their station. There was a giant panda waiting on the platform. It was holding up a sign that read "The lovebirds!".

He sighed.

zzzzz

They came back late on a sunday, so next day was a school day. He had been behind in schoolwork to begin with, and the two weeks' trip to the countryside hadn't helped.

Beyond that he had come back to find that a rumour was floating around school that he and Akane had eloped. He could only guess which moneygrubbing mercenary had set that one in motion.

And then Gosunkugi had rebuilt his altar, and had spent most of the day holed up in a toilet giving out headaches to people he didn't like.

When Ranma finally realised the little sorcerer wannabe was the reason 50% of the school suffered from headaches once again he had tracked the boy down and taken away all of his equipment. but like last time, it looked like the headache he already had would stay for a day or two.

He had meant to visit Cologne today, but with Gosunogi's headache to top off all the other things to happen that day he just didn't have the energy, and he went straight home.

The idea that he might visit Kodachi never entered his mind. Which, in retrospect, he might consider somewhat unfortunate.

zzzzz

Tuesday morning started off really, really well.

"Sorceress! My pigtailed sorceress!"

Ranma froze. But then he very quickly remembered that just _maybe _this was going to be the first time he was truly glad to see Kuno.

He turned around, eyelashes fluttering.

"I- You have returned! Oh pigtailed girl, I have been looking, I thought... I thought the vile spirit within you had driven you away from this place, now that I hold the cure!"

Ranma moved through the throng, and threw himself on Kuno in the girliest hug he could stomach. "You, you have it? Them, I mean? You have the cursed water?"

Kuno took a deep breath, and returned the hug. Ranma shivered.

"I do," he said. They are in my house as we speak. Oh pigtailed-"

Ranma cut him off, and wriggled loose of the hug. There was only so much girly he could do, even if the prize was the restoration of his manhood. "Kuno my hero!" he squealed. Will you- will you bring them tonight? For me?"

"My pigtailed- But of course! Yes, yes, I shall appear at your doorstep. I shall ride in and I shall save you from your hideous doom! I shall-!"

"Good, good," Ranma said. "Now remember, I _need _the Nannichuan as well, okay?" The Nyannichuan on its own is not enough."

Kuno nodded, moving in for another hug, which Ranma dodged. "Yes, yes, I know. I understand. Oh you poor thing. But together we shall-!"

"That's great!" Ranma interjected. "And remember, don't under any circumstances let any pandas or people know about this, okay?"

Kuno nodded solemnly, as though keeping secrets from wild animals didn't register as anything too out of the ordinary. "I understand. The only people who know are my sister and Nabiki."

"_Nabiki_?" Ranma screeched, causing people to turn and look.

"But pigtailed one, she is the one who ordered the water for me!"

Ranma's heart slowly settled down. Well, there was perhaps no way around that.

He allowed himself to relax a little. This just might work... "Remember to keep it secret, ok? Especially from pandas and little piglets."

Kuno nodded solemnly again.

Ranma looked his prospective saviour up and down. Perhaps, just maybe, there would come a day when he didn't dislike him anymore.

zzzzz

But there were other things on his mind as well. He had to talk to Cologne. If Shampoo had stopped loving him, hurt male pride aside, she might be in trouble. And if Cologne was wrong that he might fall in love with her, she was right in thinking that he would care.

When school let up, he made his way to the cat café.

The new waitress, a local woman, was busy serving customers.

"Yo, the old mummy in?" he asked.

The waitress turned to him and nodded, before going back to work.

He entered the kitchen.

"Oy!" he directed at the room in general.

A duck quacked profanely from a cage under one of the tables.

Cologne came in on her staff from a side room. "Good afternoon," she said.

"What's up with him?" Ranma asked, gesturing toward Mousse.

Cologne snapped her eyes over to glare at the blind creature. "He's being kept from stirring up trouble."

"What'd he do?" Ranma asked.

"Nothing _yet_," answered the old woman, glare intensifying. Her eyes moved back to Ranma. "Now what do you want?"

That was a bit unfriendlier than he had expected.

"Err... Talk?" he asked, taken aback.

She turned her head slowly to one side. "Yes?"

Ranma's eyes darted back to Mousse. Should we really talk with him here?"

Cologne snorted. "He'll be locked up for a while regardless of what you have to say."

Ranma frowned. "Right..."

He looked at her silently.

She returned his look in way that made it very clear he would have to be the one who got the conversation rolling.

"So..." he said. Well, this was it. He'd just have to ask it straight out.

"Has Shampoo given up?"

Cologne smiled faintly.

There was a howl from the cage. Cologne smacked it with her staff, her smile disappearing.

"Yes, Ranma," she said.

Ranma's heart beat faster. "Why?" he asked. "Doesn't she love me anymore?"

Cologne's smile returned, but it was a tired smile. "Of course she does," she said gently.

Ranma stretched her arms out. "Then why?" he demanded.

Cologne looked him in the eye. "She gave up _because _she loves you."

Silence stretched, interrupted only by the howling and head against steel bashing of one miserable duck.

"How'd you figure that?" Ranma asked.

Cologne sighed. "Shampoo gave up, because she thought she could see that: A, you didn't love her, after all this time, and B, her presence here only made things more difficult for you, with Akane's jealousy and all the other chaos in Nerima."

"But..." Ranma tried to find words. "But why didn't she _tell _me?"

The duck's howls were cut short in an anguished gurgling sound as Cologne hit some sort of pressure point with her staff.

"Because she couldn't see you again and still bring herself to leave."

Ranma flinched.

"But she... she has been gone for two months," he said, quietly.

Cologne looked at him, a lot gentler than when he first had come in.

He looked her in the eye. "What about the laws?"

Cologne shrugged tiredly. "I don't think she thought about them when she made her decision."

"But what do they say? What happened to Shampoo when she went back to China?"

"There was a trial set, of course."

"Well?" he demanded. What did they do to her?"

"It's against Amazon law to speak of such matters with outsiders," the old woman said, slowly.

Ranma was about to protest, when Cologne held up a finger.

She gestured to the duck. "So you know nothing other than that she is in trouble, are we clear?"

She gave him a penetrating stare. His eyes focused on Mousse, who lay unconcious in his cage. Had she taken him out so that he wouldn't be able to hear this particular part?

"Ok," he said.

Cologne smiled. "Good. Now, you know we take honour very seriously in Nyuchiehzu, Ranma.

"Yes?"

"Like yourself, some of us feel the occasional bending of a rule isn't a violation, but... In Shampoo's case, that was not possible this time."

"Well?"

"As is usual, in serious cases, it was left to the one standing trial to decide her own future."

Ranma stared at the insane woman. "You let people decide their _own _sentences?"

The Matriarch shrugged. "In matters of honour. If she were to pass no judgement on herself, she would be allowed to do so..."

"...But that would take away from her honour," Ranma finished, understanding dawning. "And from _yours_, since you are her family."

"That is so," Cologne agreed.

Ranma thought through this new information. "So what did she do?"

Cologne's smile showed teeth. "She challanged the wisdom of the law."

Ranma's jaw fell. "What?"

"She said that while the laws had bound her to you in the first place, her love for you had shown her the unjustice of the law."

"How'd she figure that?"

"Ultimately, she said that you had shown yourself so great a warrior that it would be wrong to impose her will over yours. And as it was both love that bound her to you and love that kept you from her, the evil done to you by taking you back against your will would outweigh the good of the Joketsuzoku."

Ranma stood silent for a moment. "But... that it's unfair to me is what I've been saying all this time!"

Cologne glared up at him. "Yes, but you are an idiot."

"But you just said Shampoo-"

"My great granddaughter is apparently an idiot as _well_," she cut him off. "Tell me, Ranma, except for having to leave Akane behind, what bad do you think would come of becoming Shampoo's husband?"

"I- I'd get dragged back to Nyuchiehzu and be her slave, for one!"

"Ranma, if that was the case, do you think Shampoo would have considered it such a romantic thing whenever you saved her from danger?"

He raised his finger and opened his mouth... and couldn't find any clearcut answer to that.

"Furthermore," Cologne continued, "What do you think would be th _point _of the Kiss of Marriage? Find strong men, carry them back home and have them do the dishes?"

Ranma frowned. Well, that wasn't a question he had considered. Ok, so how about-

"Hey ghoul," he said, "If you're so good to the men you catch, how come you treat Mousse the way you do?"

Cologne poked at the unconscious duck in his cage. "Mousse is a nuisance and is treated as such. We treat him badly because he gives us no reason to respect him. He has been free to leave the whole year since we came here. I'm holding him now because I don't want him running home to make trouble for Shampoo."

That was a bit hard to argue with. Okay, well, how about...

Ranma tried to tell himself he wasn't grabbing at straws. "Then why did she want to drag me back all that time?"

"She _wanted_ to introduce you to her parents. She wanted them to be proud that she had a man they could _respect_."

"And then... what?" he asked. "I could have just left?"

"If that was your wish, but I can only assume she would want to go with you."

"On training trips?"

"On training trips, or to move away permanently. If you actually stayed there a few months, though, I doubt you would ever want to leave without the prospect of coming back."

Ranma sat down. There were too many things swirling around in his head. And he still had some of that headache Gosunkugi had given him the day before.

Then he looked up. "If I was wrong about all those things, how come Shampoo herself told the elders it would be wrong to force me to go back?"

"Because," Cologne said, and her voice was gentle, "She loves you. And she thought that if would make you happier if she gave up."

"What?" he whispered.

"If you thought that the person you loved, Ranma, was in love with someone else, wouldn't you eventually just slink back into the shadows and disappear?"

And then a memory surfaced. He remembered what he himself had felt when he thought Akane was in love with the Shinnosuke boy from Ryugenzawa...

He could understand something of what Shampoo must have felt when she decided to leave. It made him feel sick.

And she had stayed away for two months.

He looked up at Cologne, and found his voice a little hoarse. "I... didn't know she thought of me that way."

Cologne hopped up on one of the tables, and put a hand on his shoulder. "I dare say there there are a few males every generation who are bigger fools than you."

She sounded like she was joking, but he didn't laugh.

He sat still a little while.

Then he asked "What happens with Shampoo, then?"

"Well," Cologne said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" he asked.

"It's up to her. But as she has challanged the _wisdom _of a law, she must prove herself worthy of speaking against against laws set down by by her elders' elders."

That was a worryingly authoritarian way to put it.

"And how could she do that?" he asked.

"Trial by quest," Cologne said, smugly.

"Trial by- What kind of ridiculous quest was she sent on?"

The Matriarch of the Amazons shrugged again. "I don't know. Shampoo hadn't decided yet when I returned to Japan."

"But haven't you had any letters or anything?"

"Sure I have. But it was decided that Shampoo would travel around China, and return once she had found a quest she thought worthy of such a trial."

"So Shampoo's travelling China right now?"

"Yes."

"When's she coming back to Nyuchiehzu?"

"When she has _found _a quest she thinks worthy of the trial."

"So she isn't coming back until the quest is complete?"

"Of course she is. She must present it before the council in open session before she may go to fulfill it."

"In open session?"

"That means the whole village may see and hear."

"Right?"

"While on her quest, Shampoo will not be considered part of the tribe. Stating the quest in open session allows her to depart without shame, until the outcome has been decided."

"But..." Ranma gestured to Mousse. "Won't people like him interfere if they know?"

"They may," Cologne said. "That is part of the trial. Normally, strong warriors wishing to court her would offer their assistance, but as it is the Kiss of Mariage the trial concerns... I doubt that any but the most thick headed," she poked at Mousse with the staff, "members of the tribe will try anything."

Ranma was a little overwhelmed by the sheer mass of new information.

Finally he gathered himself. "How dangerous a quest do you think she will pick?"

Cologne smiled again. "Put yourself in her shoes, Ranma. What kind of quest would you choose if you wanted to overturn 4000 years of tradition and clear your name at the same time?

zzzzz

Two points: While Shampoo isn't a brooding kind of person, I don't feel it out of character for her to eventually try to step back for the sake of Ranma's (perceived) happiness. If Cologne had just left him be, no doubt he wouldn't have had to think about the consequences of her choice. As it is, Shampoo saw a way out that didn't hurt Ranma, and after the end of the manga, is it so strange that she would think he might never warm up to her?

I mean, he will, obviously, but thinking that he wouldn't allowed her to make a sacrifice for his sake she thought he would never find out about. So that's, like, major girlfriend points right there.

Point two: There will be cursed water at the Tendos', next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: So rumor has it that responding to reviews in reviews is not cool with the powers that be. Guess I won't do that, then.

Looking up something in the manga, I stumbled upon an example of Ranma finding - and immediately trying to use magical flowers to turn Akane into a "perfect housewife". Book 29, Pink & Link. No doubt, he only wanted to see if it worked.

Rewind: We seem to have similar fanonical preferences with regards to the Amazons. So much so that I found your old reviews a fairly convenient checklist as I was writing part of the dialogue last chapter.

eternalfox: The Chinese Amazons in Ranma 1/2, while based on the Greek myths, I'm sure, are not the same. And as evidenced by Mousse's growing up near enough to Shampoo to be a constant nuisance, they don't separate boys from girls geographically. And I don't think his eyesight is the main problem. I guess what I'm getting at is that, in my universe, you are wrong.

This chapter goes out to ryu238, and the person he says is sending their mail through him. You two are gonna love this chapter and the next.

Thiiiiiis much.

zzzzz

So, hypothetically, if an insane person wanted to impress the hell out of a bunch of dried up old mummies whose authority was being challenged, what would she do?

It was a question he wasn't _entirely _unable to ponder. Not everyone had fought their way through a mountain palace and knocked a decade off a minor god. In his case, it had been to save Akane, but...

In Shampoo's case, it was to stop bothering him.

That one hurt to think about.

Ok, so technically, she'd ended up in this situation because she had decided to stop stalking him _and _didn't want to get kicked off the pedistal as most promising Amazon warrior of her generation.

But as far as he was concerned, if the quest was the only way out without losing honour, it was the only way out. Yeah, he'd wanted her to give up, just like he'd wanted Ukyo and his parents to give up. But... of all his fiancées, Shampoo was probably the one who had the most to lose if she gave up.

And he'd just assumed all those nasty things about the Joketsuzoku.

Well, some of Shampoo's tricks had been a bit... extreme. Mind altering drugs were thrown left and right in Nerima, it seemed, and they'd allways failed to have any permanent impact. But Shampoo was the only girl in his life who seemed willing to actively hurt people. Well, except for Kodachi, but they were hardly in the same category.

And yet she had been the first one to step back... Was the ruthlessness Shampoo occasionally displayed not so much a sign of Amazon hostility to men as just part of the fierce competitiveness that seemed to be part of their society? Shampoo _hadn't _chosen to really hurt people when she must have known she could get away with it.

Even when Pink and Link had attacked - and they _had _used poisons to try to take out him and Shampoo, the Amazon girl hadn't returned the favour, but had contented herself with beating them up no worse than he tended to beat up Ryoga in their fights.

After which, of course, she had promptly blackmailed them into putting on a charade so he'd have to go in and save her... Which if it hadn't been surprising, had been annoying.

But... she had been the one of his fiancées who'd stepped back, eventually, simply because he wanted her to.

Granted, any relief her decision might have brought was undone the second Cologne decided to start their little sessions, but he could hardly blame Shampoo for that.

He frowned. Why _was _Cologne dong this?

Shampoo's trial was already underway. There was nothing for the Matriarch to accomplish in Japan but to... To what, actually?

To convince Ranma to go to Nyuchiehzu _without_ being bound by the Kiss of Marriage? What would that accomplish? Would he get to see how things were there without being prevented from leaving? The Jusenkyo guide hadn't minded coming there with them, so presumably going there as a man wasn't _necessarily _bound to get you into trouble.

Unless you were Ranma, of course, in which case you'd probably get another Kiss of Marriage within five minutes.

He blinked.

Aw hell no.

No. No, all of Cologne's talk _couldn't _just be an elaborate scheme to lure him back to the hunting ground to replace one Amazon suitor with a new one. Surely not.

He groaned, feeling all his energy being drained away at the prospect of a new Amazon suitor - and all the collateral damage that would come with her.

He moaned unhappily.

A mother on the opposite sidewalk pulled her daughter in closer and glared at him before hurrying on.

Was there _never_ going to be an end to _anything_?

Gloom and doom on his mind, Ranma made his way back to the Tendo household. The closer he came, though, the less depressed he seemed to become, until finally he remembered the source of the lightening of his mood; Kuno was coming tonight.

With Nannichuan.

zzzzz

The last hour of the afternoon dragged by at a snail's pace. The first hour of the evening crawled backwards. At some point he must have splashed himself with cold water for Kuno, but all she could remember was staring longingly at the clock, or looking around her to see if any men or pandas looked like they Knew and were Up to something.

And all throughout, she had been catching Nabiki giving her looks which ranged from scrutinizing to amused.

They had just sat down to eat when there was a knock at the door.

Ranma flew to her feet, and though her plate was empty by the time she had finished turning around, she couldn't care less what her father was doing - as long as he stayed out of the hallway.

Never had she moved so fast. She threw the door open with enough force to break the hinges off their frames. A shocked Kuno stood outside, and she moved out and into him and picked him up into the air with the strength of mad desire.

"Where?" she demanded.

Kuno looked panicked - but he was holding two sealed metal buckets. She let him down onto the floor, and blurted out: "I'm sorry I'm a little nervous could you tell me which one is the Nannichuan?"

Kuno raised one of the buckets, gasping, recovering from the shock and the grip.

Ranma snatched the bucket. She tore the lid off and emptied the whole thing over herself.

And he roamed with his hands over his body, discovering nothing curvy, nothing extra and nothing missing.

He was male.

He grabbed the other bucket, giggling hysterically, tore the lid off and splashed its contents over the front yard.

There was a distressed shout from Kuno, but he didn't care.

He felt his body again. Nothing curvy, nothing extra and nothing missing. And no cursed water anywhere.

He burst out screaming in mad triumph. _Nothing_ had ever felt this good! _Nothing_ would ever feel so right! He was _cured_! He wasn't cursed! He was a man! He was a man!

He was vaguely aware of Kuno shouting something in a panicky voice, but he didn't care. He jumped into the pond just because he could do it. He sommersaulted back out to find his father standing in the doorway, mouth agape. The old man shouted as well, but unlike Kuno his voice wasn't so much panicked as greedy and eager.

"Boy! Boy! What's happening? Where is the water? Did you find a cure?"

Members of the Tendo household were spilling out around the large man, and Nodoka-

"Mom! I'm cured! I'm a real man again!"

His mother's face lit up - and then her gaze shifted to just behind Ranma.

He frowned, turned around, and-

_Splash_!

He looked up to see Kodachi Kuno standing on the wall, her eyes tear stained, but with a grim, hateful smile on her face.

He shouted, but what came out wasn't human.

He looked down on his hands - only they weren't hands, they were claws. And he had a long grayish black nose, and-

Nooooo!

Too stunned to think, he just stood there, until-

_Splash_!

He grew in size, and he felt his eyes moved further apart, his clothes tearing.

He neighed.

_Splash_!

He shrunk down, and what remained of his clothes caught at his wings, leaving him to flap about uselessly on the ground.

_Splash_!  
_Splash_!  
_Splash_!

Sometimes the water struck him, sometimes it touched nothing but the ground as he managed to thrash away in a panic before the water landed.

He protested in more voices from the animal kingdom than he had ever seen or heard, until with a horrible, mind shattering sense of the abyss opening up beneath him, he heard himself meow.

He lay still, violent nausea leaving his brain a blank slate of terror. He heard in the distance that martial artists were fighting, and he looked up to see the contour of somebody he vaguely recognised.

Her name was... Akane, wasn't it?

She picked him up, and she said something, but he didn't understand.

One more splash, which the Akane person dodged, but which sprinkled heavily enough on Ranma to trigger another transformation.

The worried look on Akane's face turned to a numb incomprehension, to horror, to anger, to hatred like he had never seen in his wildest nightmares.

He oinked.

He could feel her hands tightening around his throat, pressing _hard_! Gahk!

_Splash_!

This time, Akane too was drenched, and he felt himself expanding again, her hands unable to keep their grip on the expanding flesh.

He stood limp. Thought through the haze of madness and oxygen deprivation, something within him wondered why Akane hadn't changed.

Akane's hands fell limply down to her sides, and Ranma backed away, feeling with her hands over her naked body.

Was she... was she human again?

She laughed hoarsely. Human. She wasn't sure in the writhing madness that was her conscious mind at the moment, but she thought human was good.

She roamed with her hands again, and she found breasts. She squeesed them.

She sighed, as some part of her realised that this was familiar. This was safe. She wasn't a... a... a...

She was human. Yes. Her breasts were positive proof that she was human.

She squeezed them again.

Akane was backing away, staring. She had her arm raised, pointing at her, mouth opening and closing soundlessly.

The fighting had stopped. By the door stood three women she recognised, and over by the pond, a panda, a man with a sword, another man she reckognised, and the mad girl swinging buckets.

They were all staring at her.

She frowned, concentrating. She was... human now. Her naked breasts were proof of that. And she didn't have a -

She moved down to examine another part, but found her hand scraping something on the way.

She frowned. What was this flabby thing under her breasts? That hadn't been there before.

Her frown deepened. "I'm fat," she said, and thought her voice sounded strange. But her breasts were- hm, they were a little smaller than they should be, surely.

Oh, and her hair was blue.

zzzzz

No _lasting _trauma for Ranma for experiencing life as a cat for a short time. He may be a bit shaken, though. Good thing his beloved soul mate is going to be so understanding and supportive and rational about everything next chapter.

It would be bad taste to comment on the relative proximity of Nerima and Fukushima, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be bad taste. Too soon, and all that.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's notes:

Rewind: Let's not single out manga-Kodachi just yet; there's plenty of blame to go around in the next few chapters!

Majin: Pretty much.

DiMera: I tend to like Kodachi fics as well. As things unravelled in my head though, for this particular fic, I'm not making a _lot_ of space to portray her in a positive light.  
And as I needed a bit of social dynamite at this point, well... Angry angry Kodachi to the rescue!

Lastly, I am choosing to ignore an element of canon: I'm having Soun not know about Ryoga's curse. I can not see any way of justifying his canonical behavior otherwise, and having him not know means I can move the plot along better.  
(It's never made explicit he knows in the manga, I think, but he's at least in the room when Ranma triggers the curse in the Pantyhose introduction arc.)

And now, in what what will by far be the the highest density of drama this fic has to offer, let us get on with the meltdown.

zzzzz

Ranma found herself dragged into a house. It wasn't a house house; it was a house were you could fight without breaking things. They were good sometimes, but you had to be able to fight anywhere.

People were talking around her. Somebody mentioned water. That horrible, evil, nasty thing that had turned her into a... into a...

She moaned unhappily, sinking down on her knees.

She was splashed with water again, and she panicked. But no, this was different. The water was hot. Hot water was good.

He giggled. Haah, hot water was good. The breasts were gone. He was still human, but the breasts were gone. Hot water was good.

Somebody gave him a blanket. He looked up to see the face of his mother. His mother looked worried, but was smiling, too, and she'd given him a blanket.

She smiled, and talked to him. He smiled back, but he wasn't entirely sure what she was saying.

Pop came up tot. Was pop good or bad? He was usually there when there was trouble, and when he wasn't, you could always find where he was hiding and drag him back so he could help you cheat. But then, he was also often the reason there _was _so much trouble.

Pop shook him a bit, and slapped him till the world stopped spinning.

For a second everyting turned black, and he thought he would finally get to sleep. But then the blackness receeded.

He focused.

Genma was scowling, but he looked worried, too.

Ranma blinked, and looked around him.

Right.

Right.

He looked around the Dojo. They were all there. The Kunos were tied up, the Tendos were looking at him, Akane-

Wow, holy crap! Akane was tied up right next to the Kunos, and there was murder in her eyes.

Oh no.

"Has Akane been cursed?" he asked, quietly.

Everyone hesitated.

He felt his heart sink. This was his fault. If he'd talked to Kodachi sooner she wouldn't have turned up and started flinging cursed water everywhere.

"What... what does she turn into?" he asked.

For answer, Soun, who stood nearest, splashed Akane with a bucket of water.

She didn't change.

He frowned. "But... but I saw her get splashed. We were both splashed..."

Akane's glare would have burned a hole in the wall if Ranma hadn't been there to intercept it.

Everyone was looking at him again.

His memories were fuzzy. There was something there that he desperately didn't want to remember, and his head seemed to have slammed the gate on everything surrounding it as well.

He had been cured. And then, just like that, he had been splashed with dozens of new curses, one after another.

And the one that had gotten Akane hadn't changed her. But he had changed, right? He had become human again.

Was there a "Cure all" spring? But wait, no, he had still become a girl when he was splashed...

What wouldn't change Akane but would change him?

As realization dawned on him, a hole opened up in his stomach. It grew.

"No..." he whimpered.

His eyes returned to Akane. Oh gods no. This was bad. No, no, no...

"I didn't mean to!" he protested, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Akane's any more than a dear could look away from the oncoming freight train, and the pit grew.

"Come now, son," Soun said, "This isn't so bad. Genma told me about this... this Spring of drowned Fiancée. All it means is we have to move that wedding up again."

"What?" Ranma asked, the shock enabling him at last to tear his eyes away from the twin gateways to the abyss.

His prospective father-in-law looked _happy _of all things.

Nodoka took over. "This works out _wonderfully_. Akane and you were always a little shy about being intimate, well now you won't be able to keep her hands off her!"

He sat with his mouth open. "You can't be serious," he managed to mouth, eventually.

"Dead serious, my boy!" This was from his father. "The sooner you two are married, the sooner Akane will accept the new circumstances."

His mother chirped in. "And then you can explore her body all you want!"

The fathers laughed.

Ranma didn't look back to Akane. He didn't dare.

Somehow, at some point, this evening had turned into a nightmare. There was no other explanation.

Had he been drugged? Might that be the cause of all these insane hallucinations? Kodachi had visited, was that it? She had thrown water at him. She must have put something in those buckets.

Or maybe he was just mad. Yeah... Yeah that sounded about right. After all the transformations he had undergone in just a few minutes, he must have gotten brain damage. Everything would be better in the morning. Everything would make sense. Oh gods he wanted to sleep.

He could _feel _Akane's eyes on him.

Genma stepped up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Now, boy, you were talking about a cure before all this started?"

Ranma looked up at the poorly feigned casual interest in his father's face.

Well, it wasn't like panda man could make anything worse now that the Nanniichuan was gone.

He nodded, and smacked his head a couple of times to shake himself into some semblence of coherence.

He quickly regretted his decision, as the world once again turned black for a couple of seconds, and he almost fell uncouncious.

He wasn't gonna be able to keep track of lies. He'd have to tell the truth all the way.

He gestured at Kuno. "Nabiki's cash cow found out about Jusenkyo a couple weeks back, and started blabbering about a cure."

That got Genma interested."Yes, boy?"

Ranma looked over at Kuno. This was probably not how he should be telling it, but he was just too manhandled and tired to tell anything but the bluntest form of the truth he could think of.

"Well, he got it into his head that the girl form was the real me. He wanted to order Nyanniichuan, and I tricked him into getting some Nanniichuan, as well. When he showed up tonight I splashed myself with the Nanniichuan and poured the Nyanniichuan out before any of the crazy things in this place could get me cursed again."

He laughed weakly, thinking back.

"And- the Nanniichuan?" his father asked. "Where is the rest of it? Quickly son, we can still cure you if you tell me where it is!"

Ranma looked up into his father's face again.

Gee. When he was this tired, it almost seemed funny, the sincerity with which pops could lie.

"Used up," he said, whereupon his father quickly started shaking him and protesting about young people and their selfishness.

That proved too much, and the world went out of focus.

zzzzz

When her husband finally let go of shaking their child, the boy slid quietly down on the floor. She hurried over to examine him.

Her son wasn't unconscious, but he was completely out of it. She tried speaking to him reassuringly, but though his eyes came to fix upon her, he didn't say anything.

Finally, she decided to hope he would recover quickly enough to resume his part in this... this interrogation.

She rose again, and looked over on their captives. She settled on Tatewaki Kuno.

The tied up swordsman was wearing a tuxedo, which if torn and beat up now, probably hadn't been so when he had first knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry, young man, but my son is male."

In addition to being bound, the Kunos and Akane were all gagged, so there wasn't much Kuno could say in reply.

"I understand Tatewaki Kuno's appearance. But what about his sister?" She turned to meet the eyes of the girl who had been, if not the most promising martial artist amongst the girls after her son, at least in many ways the most extreme.

"Can you remain calm?" she asked.

The bound martial artist nodded.

"Did you come to attack Ranma?"

The younger Kuno hesitated. Then she nodded. Then she shook her head. Then she nodded, then she shook her head again.

She frowned.

"Can somebody please take out the girl's gag?" she asked.

Soun moved to comply, but Nabiki got there first.

She bent down to ungag the girl, and whispered something as she did.

To which the reply was "Like hell, bitch!"

The group blinked.

"What?" Nodoka asked.

"The mercenary bitch lied to us," Kodachi said,

Nabiki protested, but the Saotome matriarch cut her off. "Let the girl speak."

She turned back to Kodachi, with a warning look in her eyes. "We have been subject to your visits before, young woman. Don't think you can put this all over on one of the girls who live here."

Kodachi glared at Nabiki, but when she shifted her eyes to Nodoka the glare slowly faded into a restrained pout.

"Well, this time is different."

"How so?"

"For one thing the cutthroat _bitch _got me the water," Kodachi snapped, and her glare returned to Nabiki.

Nodoka gasped. She turned to Nabiki. "Is this true?"

Nabiki stood eerily silent for a second, watching Kodachi. Then she turned to Nodoka. "I told Tatewaki about Jusenkyo. He must have told her."

In addition to Kodachi's protests and insults, there was fervent head shaking on Kuno's part.

His gag, too, was removed.

"Pig-tailed girl! You must resist! You must-!" was all he got out before the gag was put back in.

"Both Tatewaki and Ranma are out of it," Nabiki said, "and I wouldn't trust Kodachi's word further than you can throw her."

Nodoka frowned, letting Kodachi hurl insults and Nabiki argue for a delay.

This went on for a little while, and then she calmly, slowly, drew her Katana.

The two girls quieted.

Nodoka was looking at Kuno, her sword not pointed at him, but the simple, unmistakable gleam making it very clear the blade had been kept in working condition since Genma took her son on that fateful training trip all those years ago. "I will remove your gag one more time, young man. And when I do, I expect you to be quiet except for answering my questions. Are we clear?"

Kuno hesitated for the longest moment, but then he nodded. Once.

Nodoka removed the gag. "Did you or did you not pass on the information Nabiki gave you on Jusenkyo to your sister?"

Kuno restrained himself from even looking in Ranma's direction, his eyes on Nodoka."I revealed all I know of Jusenkyo to my sister, it is true, but Nabiki Tendo did not tell me where the cursed springs are located. I had to purchase the water through her."

"Exactly!" Kodachi hurried. "Then, when he told me that he had procured water from the cursed springs from Nabiki, I made contact with her as well!"

She turned to the half unconscious Ranma. "Ranma-sama I'm sorry! I thought your true form was female!" She looked frantic.

The blade was pointed ever so slightly more in the interrupting girl's direction.

"Why did you attack?" Nodoka asked.

Kodachi hesitated. She looked at her in silence for a little while, but then a stubborn glimt appeared in her eyes.

"I thought your son was that _hussy _all along, and that she'd played me. I wanted to show her what I thought of that."

There was no apology in her voice.

Ok, so from what she could piece together about the Black Rose, it was probably the truth. And if it was cruel and excessive, if she'd been _right _about her son being a girl playing her for a sap for a whole year, it didn't seem that excessive anymore.

Well.

"What about everyone else?" she asked.

She frowned. "What?"

"What about everyone else? Didn't you care you might curse one of us?"

Kodachi's eyes darted back to Ranma, and they had a pleading look in her eyes. "Please, Ranma-sama, I was so angry... I didn't think. I wanted to revenge myself, and I didn't think that I might-"

Nodoka interrupted. "No one else got cursed, so we will leave that be for now. But tell us, girl, why did you think that my son's girl form was his true self? Did not your brother explain it to you?"

Kodachi blinked. She frowed. She looked over at her elder brother, questioningly.

Tatewaki looked confused. "But... Does that mean... Is it _cold _water that activates the curse?"

The three adults just looked at him.

"...Yes?" Soun tried.

"But..." Kuno blinked. He looked around at their faces, confused. "But..."

His eyes landed on Ranma. "But... but then he..."

"He is a _man_, yes," she said.

Kuno looked at her son with a strange expression. It didn't seem angry so much as... hurt.

"Nabiki?" Nodoka asked, eyes still on the increasingly unhappy looking kendoist.

"I never said which way it worked," the middle Tendo daughter snapped. Then she blinked as she realised to whom she had spoken. She licked her lips. "Auntie Saotome, you know-"

"Don't you Auntie Saotome me, young girl. That you keep things from Kuno I've known for a while, but didn't you pause to consider what he might _do _if you let him go around thinking my son was a woman?"

"But he didn't do anything, Auntie, in fact he brought Ranma a cure!"

"And _told his sister_. Who brought _new _curses."

"That's hardly _my _fault-"

"She _ordered _the water!" Kodachi screamed.

The room fell into silence.

"Tatewaki," Nodoka asked, "is this true?"

"Yes, Mrs Satome."

Nodoka turned to Nabiki. "Hardly your fault?"

Nabiki crossed her arms in defiance. "It's not my responsibility, what she does with it. If Ranma had bothered to tell her about the curse at any time throughout the last _year _this wouldn't have happened."

"Maybe so, Nabiki, but you had to know she was going to use this water against Ranma."

The middle Tendo daughter shrugged. "After all the damage your son and husband have done over the 15 months they've been here, I'm not about to say no to cold hard cash because one of them might get a new curse."

The two women's eyes locked, and there was a drop in temperature.

"I see," Nodoka said eventually, turning away. That was revealing.

She turned back to Kodachi. "What springs did you order water from?"

"All of them," Kodachi said, neutrally. "Except for the ones my brother did."

Her gaze skipped back to Ranma for a few seconds. "I thought it was a complicated thing to get her form back to female permanently, so I tried my best to screw things up."

Nodoka met the young girl's eyes. "I would say you rather have, young Kuno."

Kodachi bit her lip, eyes tearing up.

"As for you," Nodoka said, returning her full attention to Tatewaki, "Do you understand now that my son is a man?"

The young man's cheeks turned red, and he seemes to be swallowing protests as they came to him. "I understand," he said finally, through gritted teeth.

She kept the gaze going for a few more seconds, before nodding, and turning away.

As much as she had gotten to think about, Nodoka thought she was about ready to turn to the biggest mystery of the evening. The Kuno family was obviously collectively insane and would need to be dealt with in the long term, but in the short term, her son was worn out and would need a long night's sleep and a kind awakening.

But before that, she had to know what had happened with Akane.

The youngest Tendo girl had stared unblinkingly at her son, even fading in and out of consciousness as he was. And she was staring at him in a way a fiancée should never, ever stare at her betrothed.

She walked up to Akane slowly, carefully removed her gag, and touched her cheek to turn the young girl's face up to look at her.

For the first time since she was bound and unceremoniously put on the floor, Akane blinked, and her eyes turned up to meet those of the Saotome matriarch.

"What happened out there?" she asked.

Akane's head turned slowly back to Ranma, and she made a strange, rasping sound. "Pig," was the only coherent sound that came out.

Nodoka frowned. "Now Akane, I know you are uncomfortable with his new-"

Akane spoke in a low, slow voice, but the violent hatred in her words cut through Nodoka's like a knife. "I don't care about the spring of drowned fiancée."

Nodoka waited silently. She licked her lips. She asked.

"Then what is it?"

"He turned," came that same quiet, terrible voice, "into a pig."

The girl turned back to her. And now there were other emotions there; outrage, disgust, revultion. "He _turned_, INTO, _MY_, _**PIG**_!"

Akane wheezed, and as if she didn't know what to say, she made only that unnatural, rasping sound again.

"What do mean? You mean P-chan? But Akane, that was never Ranma's curse. He always turned into a girl."

Akane shivered with those dark emotions again. "There are one-use versions of the curses. He could have turned into a pig _any time he wanted_!"

She frowned. The girl was acting... _mad_. "But you've seen P-chan and Ranma fight lots of times, Akane. We all have."

"Yes," Akane whispered. "And now I know why."

"What do you mean?"

"Your _son_," Akane answered, through gritted teeth, "was trying to scare P-chan away, so he could take his place without getting _caught_!"

Nodoka backed away, shocked at what she had just heard.

"Akane, you can't believe that..."

Her prospective daughter in law - the girl her only child was engaged to marry, could not have said that. She _could _not.

"It all makes sense, now," the girl continued, smiling insanely through gritted teeth. "He really was a pervert... all that time..."

Nodoka slapped her.

Akane turned her glare on her. "_What_, Auntie Saotome? You have a different explanation?"

Nodoka blinked, looking over worriedly at her unconscious son. "I don't know," she said. "But my child wouldn't do that." She turned back to Akane. "My son would not do that to you."

Akane laughed in that strange tone of voice. "It all makes sense," she repeated, staring at her child like he was... like he was some sort of animal.

"Er, beloved?" Genma tried to say, but she ignored him.

"My son would not do that," she repeated.

Akane returned her gaze silently.

Right.

She got a cold feeling in her stomach, but with this development, there was only one course of action she could take.

She looked away from the youngest daughter of the Tendo Household, to it's leader.

"Soun?" she asked.

Her husband's old friend simply looked at her, numbly.

"I am afraid I must break the engagement."

Soun and Genma shoked.

"This arrangement was one of honour. It is clear your daughter does not believe Ranma's family has any to contribute."

She held Soun's gaze. His lips moved, but he remained silent.

She turned to her husband. "Come, dear, our house may not be fully renovated yet, but the bearing structure has been repaired, and I will no longer impose myself or my child on your old friend."

She turned back to her formerly prospective daughter in law. "Good bye, Akane Tendo.

zzzzz

A/N: Ryoga's about the only character in manga/anime I actively loathe. As I doubt the readers would like this fic to include Akane cooking pork, I won't actually have him come to Nerima in this fic. But when he does... Well, I'm not saying bad things will happen. I'm saying you decide.

Now, I always felt Ranma should have told Akane about P-chan, and shame on him for not doing so. (For one thing, shouldn't he be looking out for the honour of the girl he intends to marry, as much as his own? Is a broken promise really as damaging as allowing someone to molest your fiancée when she doesn't know about it?) He's not really lucid enough to get yelled at at the moment, of course, so I'll do something about that later. In this chapter, I just wanted to demonstrate to Nodoka in one go what Ranma has been slowly coming to realise over the course of months: Akane will never trust him.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: 25000 words, and not a trace of Shampoo! Well actually there are plenty of traces, Ranma just doesn't know he's supposed to go look for her yet.

Idiot.

zzzzz

His wife had been quiet during the taxi ride, doubtless thinking through the developments of the evening. Genma wasn't quite so overwhelmed by what he'd heard - if only because he'd had more time to grow used to such things.

The engagement, though.

He really hadn't thought that holding back on P-chan's identity would backfire. It had seemed so convenient; a small threat to Akane's honour, but one which his son couldn't bring himself to ignore. It was _supposed_to bring the two closer together.

Hm.

Doubtless Soun would spend the rest of the evening and the day tomorrow convincing Akane that she was wrong, and then they would meet up in the evening and discuss the matter...

Worst case scenario he'd have to plan some way of revealing the _real _pig boy the next time he came to Nerima. It shouldn't be too long; he had visited fairly regularly once or twice a month over the last year.

The only question was how the boy himself would react - it would be good if he could have him blame Ranma for everything; that'd be just like the boy always did, except this time Akane would have to remember all the times his boy had driven the little lech off - she'd even brought it up herself! - And then she would start questioning if she hadn't been wrong all those other times when she'd accused Ranma of things.

"Oh you cunning panda," he muttered to himself.

He looked over at his wife, but she seemed not to have heard.

Of course, he'd have his own work cut out for him, trying to placate the most dangerous woman in Nerima...

Everything he said tonight would be scrutinized beyond what even Tendo's little mercenary daughter could could even dream, and anything that didn't jibe with what she got out of Ranma tomorrow would quickly blow up in his face... At the same time, there was no way Nodoka would expect the first thing he said to be true. So any lies he wanted to get across would need to seem to be dragged out of him, and sandwhiched between other, more easily discarded lies at that...

But... if he _could _convince her of enough innocent little half truths to make a difference, that might just help smooth over the worst of the damage Kodachi had done tonight.

"Nodoka, dear?" he asked.

His wife had been staring out the window, lost in thought. At his voice, she blinked, and slowly turned her head, questioningly.

"I think, after we put the boy to bed, maybe we could go for a walk? Like we used to?"

Nodoka snorted affectionately, and put her head on his shoulder. "So you can put one of your old stories over on me again?"

Women.

It didn't take long to unpack and unroll three futons, once they got inside. His wife scribbled a note for Ranma, and Genma, not wasting the opportunity, snuck in after her to read the note.

_My dear Ranma,_

_Engagement with Akane broken. Please stay in the house until we can talk, I wish to discuss your relation to the little piglet known as P-chan. I hope you have made no choice during the last year to dishonour the Saotome clan._

_Love you,_  
_Mom._

He choked, and hurriedly put the note back, sneaking back out into the hallway to wait for wife.

zzzzz

"That is the worst lie you have told me in all the years of our marriage," Nodoka said.

Her husband choked indignantly, and began protesting.

"Now that we've got that out of the way," she continued, "How about you tell me the _real _story behind Ranma and that little piglet?"

"But my Nodoka, my _heart_, my _love_, I'm telling you the truth!"

"I very much doubt even master Happosai would go so far as to curse himself - even _temporarily_, just for a chance to feel up young women."

Her husband stopped walking, and just stared at her like she'd coughed up a frog.

"For one thing," she went on, "Ranma wouldn't have kept quiet about it for so long."

"Well," Genma started, "I can only imagine _if_ master Happosai _was _the culprit, he would have threatened the boy..."

"Surely Ranma would not have hesitated to reveal the old man's crimes for fear of a little punishment?"

"What's... What's that glint in your eyes, dear?"

She caught herself frowning worriedly, and put on a milder face. "That doesn't sound like our son, Genma,"

"Not like our son?" he asked, cautiously.

"How could such a manly boy allow his fiancée to be dishonoured for the sake of his own safety?"

"Er, well- as you say, Nodoka, perhaps I was mistaken - of course now that I think about it, it seems our Ranma would have at least told his father if that had been the case-"

"So how about you tell me the _truth_, dear?"

She studied her husband's face as it became flustered, and his cheeks turned red.

She frowned. She couldn't read the signals that usually told her he was about to let out one of his wild stories...

Good.

"Genma darling?" she asked, gentler than before.

He looked away, and then down into the ground.

He looked like he was genuinely _sulking_, now.

"I don't know," he said through gritted teeth.

"What don't you know?"

"Why the boy is always so upset with that pig," he answered.

She blinked. Either all those years of lying trough his teeth on the road had given him the edge he needed to deceive her, or he genuinely didn't know.

"You have no idea?" she asked, incredulously.

"Damned if I know," he said sulkily. "It wasn't really Akane's pig anyway. It just visits sometimes, so nobody much cared if Ranma scared it off for a couple of weeks..."

Except Akane, Nodoka noted to herself.

"But why would he?" she asked, more thinking out loud, now that that she had established her husband did not know any more than she did.

Genma shrugged.

"I'll have to ask him tomorrow," she said.

Her husband nodded. If she hadn't been entirely convinced of his innocence in this, the last vestiges of suspicion petered out at that. Genma would have known that any lies he'd told would come out if she tried to get the whole story from Ranma before he had a chance to talk with the boy.

They walked in silence for a little while, while she let her last thoughts on tonight's events lead her where they may.

"Now, Nodoka, about the joining of the schools-" Genma started.

"No, husband," she cut him off. "We will talk about that when I have fully understood this P-chan business."

"But my sweet-"

"No, husband."

They walked in silence for a little while. She could feel him sulking again.

"Tell me about his other engagements."

She heard a large intake of breath. "Nodoka, you said yourself we would wait with this discussion until-"

"I said we would hold off the Tendo discussion."

"Yes, admittedly, but-"

"But it occurs to me that if the plans for the union of our family and Soun's are unraveling, then the other girls' claims might merit our consideration.

"Nodoka, dearest-"

He stopped, holding his arms up in protest. Then he realised she hadn't interrupted him this time.

"Well?" she prodded.

"Well... what is it you want to know?"

"What are their claims on my Ranma?"

"Ah. Well-"

"Do any of them have legitimate claims?"

Genma paused. Then: "The Kuonji girl," he said, grudgingly. "Mind you, her claim is nowhere near as strong as Tendo's daughter's, or I would of course have brought this to you for a joint decision."

She held up her hand to ask him to stop.

"Bear in mind, Genma, I will ask Ranma about this tomorrow as well."

His frown deepend. "Oh that it would come to this - even my own beloved _wife_ doesn't trust me. My _wife_, for whose sake I have-"

"Yes yes, no doubt," she said, tiredly. "Just tell my where she gets off calling my son her fiancé."

Genma coughed. He took a deep breath-

"That's a lie," she said.

Another round of protests later, he was ready to begin.

"Well, you see, it wasn't that long after Ranma and I left on out journey - we had to stop in a small city along the way so I could get together enough money to continue our trip."

"You actually took a job?" she asked dryly.

He looked hurt.

"Go on."

"Well, there this man who had a family business selling Okonomiyaki."

"Like the Ukyo girl does now?"

"Yes... He had his own restaurant. He also had a yatai, which I helped him run. Eventually he offered it to me as a gift - he said he wanted to establish good relations with the Saotome clan. Of course - had I but _known_ that he meant to marry his daughter off to Ranma, I would have refused... but I allowed to myself to trust the man - you can see how this grieves me now after all these years. When the time came for me and Ranma to leave, as the yatai had been a gift, we took it with us. Very surprised was I when the little girl came running after us! She said her father had told her she should come with us. Even then I did not understand - I assumed the child had misunderstood, and I took Ranma and left. Only years later, when Ukyo came to Nerima to pursue the engagement did I finally understand. Oh the poor child..."

He made a dramatic gesture of drying crocodile tears from his eyes.

Hmm... Well, that was just thick with deception. Still, she doubted it was _far _from the truth. No doubt her husband wasn't telling her everything, but she would get the story out of Ranma in the morning, and she'd see how they jibed.

"I see. What about the Kuno girl? Don't tell me you-"

"Goodness no! That one isn't even up for discussion! She's just some crazy person who decided she had to have the best boy in town!"

She sighed in relief. There was no mistaking the sincerity in that.

"And... this Shampoo girl? The one from China? I haven't seen her at all since the wedding."

Genma laughed nervously.

"Just some... crazy foreigner. Worse than Kodachi, in some ways."

She tried to meet his eyes, but he was avoiding her gaze - as sure a sign as she was going to get that he hadn't finished cooking up a wild story yet.

She sighed. "Can we just skip your first two tales and get straight to the real one?"

There was a pause in the conversation.

Finally she broke the silence. "Well?"

"Despite your mistrust, dear, I'm going to tell you just what I was planning on before your hurtful accusation."

"I was afraid of that."

Her husband had the decency to look ashamed. It was a mask, of course, but at least he had the grace to show her what she wanted to see.

"We had just come from that terrible place where Ranma received his curse... And where your poor hard working husband received _his_," he wailed.

She allowed him the moment of self pity, and waited for him to continue.

"The Jusenkyo guide took pity on us in our sad and weakened states, and offered to guide us back to civilisation. You must understand we had been deceived by a native who sold us inaccurate maps, and we did not bring enough food to last our journey back from the valley of the cursed springs... The first village we came to we meant to push through quickly, so we could find somewhere willing to let your poor old husband work for room and board for his little boy, but... The guide stopped. He said we were very lucky to have come when we did, as it was the day of one of their yearly martial arts tournaments. Now I pushed my way to the front of the crowd to see if maybe here was something I could make use of in my training with Ranma, all thoughts of food and hunger forgotten. Our son, though, he took the period of near starvation much harder than I did, and when I turned around, I saw him sit down and eat. I hurried over to see what had happened, and the guide said the food had been put there in honour of the winner of the tournament. It warmed my heart to think that in some backwater village in rural China of all places, they held the Art in such esteem that their holidays were held in honour of it, and celebrated by handing out free food to spectators and weary travellers."

Again, she was getting the feeling that he was _mostly _telling the truth. No doubt it was Genma himself who had first attacked the free food, though. She would have to ask Ranma about this story as well.

"Go on," she said.

"Weary with our travels and starvation, I allowed myself to be calmed down by the guide's explanation, and gratefully sat down to eat with my son. But barely had I swallowed my first mouthful when that girl, Shampoo, came over to us, armed with her chúis - you will remember them from when she helped knock down our poor house, and demanded to know what we were doing. The guide now explained that the food wasn't in honour _of_ the winner, but rather _for _the winner. You can imagine my shame at having so broken local custom, and I was just about to apologise when Ranma got to his feet, energized by his first meal in days. He asked if, since her claim to the food was as the winner of the tournament, he could challenge her for the honour, and she agreed. Oh you should have seen your son, Nodoka, he made his father so proud. He knocked his opponent off the log with such ease - and when she was armed, no less!"

She nodded, with a slight smile spreading on her lips. She wished she could have seen her boy do all that. How proud she felt.

"Well, we thought it was settled then, but the girl came up to Ranma and kissed him-"

"She kissed him?" Nodoka frowned. "That seems a little fast to warm up to someone who just beat her in a tournament finale."

"Er- well, he was a girl at the time, but yes. To my horror, I then heard the guide explain that the girl had given our Ranma the _kiss of death_! Vowing to hunt him down to the ends of the earth and _kill _him!"

Nodoka froze. "What?" she demanded.

"I know! Poor Ranma was terrified-"

"Husband. That's a little far fetched, even for you."

He stared at her funny again.

"You mean... that actually happened?" she asked.

"You can ask the boy tomorrow!"

She tried that one on for size.

"Ok... Well, how did that change from her wanting to kill him to wanting to marry him?"

Her husband snorted. "We didn't find that one out until the girl had followed us all the way back to Japan. Apparently, if the person who beats them is a woman, they have to kill her. If it's a man, they have to marry him and drag him back to China."

"So when she found out Ranma was a man-"

"Exactly."

She shuddered. That sounded very worrying.

"And... that old woman who runs the cat café?" she asked.

"That is the girl's great grandmother, an elder, or something."

"And she's here to make sure Shampoo drags him back to their backwards little village?" she asked, horrified.

Her husband nodded solemnly.

"That's... that's terrible."

He nodded solemnly again.

Hang on.

If the Amazons wanted to take her son back against his will... Why hadn't they? She had heard her son and husband talk many times about how much better Happosai and Cologne were at martial arts than they. And with all the magic and drugs they apparently had at their disposal-

"Why didn't the old woman simply force Ranma to go back?" she asked.

Her husband blinked.

"You expect me to guess at the motives of those crazy foreigners?"

"It just seems strange that they'd make such strong vows, and then sit idly at the side for so long..."

Maybe her husband didn't understand it better than she did.

There was so much she needed to ask Ranma about... However things went with the Tendos - and her cheeks heated from just thinking about Akane's accusation against her son, she would probably have go and speak with all her son's prospective lovers herself. Her husband didn't seem to understand the situation too well... and men were so often left in the dust when women schemed against one another.

It started raining.

She sighed. But then, they were almost home again, and she couldn't think of anything else to ask her lumbering companion at the moment.

When they got home, she made sure to take a long time cleaning her make up - long enough for her husband to sneak back into Ranma's room and leave a note of his own.

Honestly.

When she heard him retire to their bedroom, she made her way to Ranma's room.

He looked so peaceful, sleeping. Part of her wanted to sit there just watching him for a very long time, but she forced herself to kiss his forehead good night, and then she looked for and found the note her husband had sneaked in and left close to her own one from earlier.

It read:

_Son,_

_Your mother and I are both very confused about what happened last night. Is there something special about Akane's little piglet? Your fiancée was very upset last night and said some unnecessary things - to which your poor mother reacted strongly as well. No doubt your reasons for not getting along with P-chan seem honourable to you, and this will all be cleared up within the week._

She snorted before continuing.

_PS: Isn't it terrible that there's a spring of drowned piglet? We can only hope none of your enemies find out about this and ****__a_buse your deep rooted sense of honour.

The last half sentence had been inked in with enough force to tear the paper in a few spots.

She frowned. She had expected her husband to leave a note, but... This one didn't seem to say anything new.

She returned the note to its resting place, threw a last loving smile at her sleeping child - so grown up now, and went to join her husband in sleep.

zzzzz

A/N: I honestly intended to cut things with the Tendo engagement fairly short after last chapter. Genma's scheming just happened by itself, though, and as if on cue several new ideas popped into my head for stirring up more trouble for Ranma and his ex-fiancée in the near future.

I hope Nodoka came out alright in this chapter. She's important to Ranma, and merits some fleshing out, I feel.


End file.
